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Running The Race

3/7/2013

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Through my Run for God running program, I do three walk/run workouts a week, whether on my treadmill or outside.  Typically I run about two miles in a thirty minute time frame.  For just starting out, I’m happy with this.  I’m working on eventually getting up to the 3.1 miles – regardless of how long it will take me - that I’ll need to run at my second 5K ever in May (the first was three years ago).  I’ve been doing well keeping up with my program, starting a fresh week on Thursday, then Saturday and finishing up on Monday.  This gets me to Tuesday when I have my small church group and we gear up for the next workout week.  Along with this regimen I do a thirty minute workout – courtesy of my Wii – five days a week, Monday through Friday.  It can be difficult to get through at times, but I’m there and I do it, and I feel great about it when I’m done.

I’ve been doing the Wii portion since January, and I added on the run/walk in February, and I’ve really been sticking to it, as well as eating well; planning out meals for the week, healthy meals that benefit both me and my family.  But.  Lately I’ve been slipping in the eating area, and after I heard about the tragic death of my friend on Sunday I’ve walked away from exercise.  Grant it, I haven’t been sitting on my butt doing nothing; I spent the last three days painting my hallway.  I’d say that was a workout.  But it’s not my training.

Tuesday night at group we talked about hitting our “Spiritual wall” and how to get past it.  I shared about the wall I’ve hit, and how I could feel Him leading me slowly through it.  Last night I made my first real meal in about a week.  Seriously, pancakes don’t count in my book.  I made a wonderful Tilapia recipe with a side of couscous and vegetables.  I loved it even if my kids didn’t (can’t win everything).  This afternoon I put on my exercise clothes and prepared to run/walk on my treadmill.  In the book that goes along with the class each workout has a Scripture verse to focus on.  I opened up the book and found that today’s workout went along with Galatians 5:7.  I opened up my Bible and read these words: “You were running a good race.  Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?”

Wow. That hit me.  Here’s the thing.  The last time I was running the race of becoming healthier, I lost my dad and it all went downhill.  This time I was afraid that someone would die (irrational fear, but still there), or that something bad was going to happen.  I remember I was in the shower after a workout thinking about this, and I told God that even if something were to happen I would remember what happened last time and I would not let that happen again this time.  Unfortunately, I was made human.  I know that this was just a short detour, but it was a detour nonetheless, and I wasn’t proud of it.  In fact, I knew that God was reminding me of my promise to Him that day, but I just ignored it.  The best I could do was keep moving, even if it meant not my typical week.  I tried to give Him at least that.  But with eating?  I had my husband order pizza (and we can’t forget the fried raviolis!), subs, we ate at a Chinese buffet, and who knows what else I’ve put in my mouth.

So, as I stepped onto my treadmill, verse in mind, I apologized for my slip, and asked for His forgiveness.  I then proceeded to do my entire workout (day 2 of week 3 instead of day 1 of week 4), and I didn’t care how well I did as long as I finished.  Which I did.  And I was able to stick to my two mile walk/run.  Tomorrow I may actually put my Wii exercise back into the routine (one thing a day).

The race I was running was still there, but I stopped being a participator and became a spectator.  Now I’m back on the road and running again, slowly at first, but I will gain speed again.

Lord, though I may push You from me, relying on myself in times of trouble, I’m thankful that You are always there, waiting for me to come back.  I can feel You with each step I make, and I know Your arms are always open wide for me.  Thank you for countless second chances, and for never leaving me.  Please continue to help me run the race you’ve set for me.

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But, What If…

3/5/2013

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“What if…?”  This is a phrase that can haunt us if we let it.  The world is filled with “what ifs.”  What if I had just studied more for that test?  What if I had studied at all?  What if I put more effort into the task at hand?  What if I actually talked to the person who made me angry?  What if….

But we can’t let “what if” guide us.  “What if” talks about the past, and we’re taught to live in the present.  The present is all around us, and if we fail to see it, if we continuously look behind us, we’ll miss all the wonderful things we’re supposed to see today.  What if?  What if Lot’s wife had listened to what she was told and didn’t look back? (Gen 19:26)  Looking back for her was a crucial mistake.

Still, we’re haunted with the “what ifs.”  This past Sunday at church I found out that a friend of mine from college had died.  When I first heard, “Did you know she died?” it was a shock, but I was okay.  But then the conversation continued.  My friend hadn’t just died – I thought it may have been a car accident or an illness I was unaware of (I lost another college friend about eight years ago to cancer) - she was murdered.  It was an on-again, off-again relationship, and she feared for her life.  Her house was up for sale, and she had all the locks changed.  He lived with his parents across the street.  “What ifs” started popping up in my mind.  What if she explained her situation to the police?  She never told them what was going on, or what she had feared.  They were in the dark.  What if, while her house was up for sale, she moved in with a friend?  Her family didn’t live nearby, but surely someone would take her in in a heartbeat.  What if she did end up moving down to Texas like her Texan friend had suggested (my friend lived in New York)?

None of that matters now.  She’s gone.  There’s nothing more anyone can do.  There’s nothing more that she can do.  All we can say is that she’s in a much better place where she no longer has to be afraid.  She’s home with her Creator.  She has left behind so many people who loved her, who mourn for her, but they all know she’s happy now.

Now it’s time to move on with our own lives.  Dwelling on the past will keep us in the past.  We still have a lot of work to do on the Earth before our time comes to be with the Lord.  In the musical, Rent, there’s a song called, “No Day But Today.”  One of the lines in there says, “Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.”  Imagine all the things we will miss, all the things we have missed, because we can’t live in the day.  Though we can never do anything about “what if,” we can do something about most regrets.  Didn’t finish college?  What’s stopping you from going back?  Didn’t go to college but always wanted to?  There’s a way.  Left a friendship in ruins?  Reconnect if only to apologize.  Let your finances go haywire?  Lesson learned, now do it right.  We can learn from our past, and we should learn from it, but only take the knowledge gained, and leave everything else behind.

I’m still having a hard time with her death.  The first day was horrible.  Yesterday I thought would be better, but then my eight-year-old son made a comment to my husband trying to be funny, but it wasn’t, and that set me off for the morning.  I could have dwelled on it, sat on my couch and watched TV all day long, eating foods I knew I shouldn’t be eating, but instead I put my energy into painting my hallway, something that I have been wanting to do for quite some time, and I feel great about it.

Though her death was a tragedy, and I can’t see any reason behind it, there are times when something in the past was the worst thing in our lives, but later we see that it was actually something good.  To put a Biblical perspective one this, look at Jesus.  What was he guilty of?  Being different?  Hitting the “hot buttons” on the Pharisees and Sadducees?  He walked around, preaching love and faith in God.  He healed many people, and more and more flocked to him, believing in him as the Messiah, and asking for healing.  But in the end he died a horrible death; an embarrassing death.  So many people turned against him, yelling, “Crucify him!”  But he was innocent.

What if he didn’t die?  What if God had taken the cup from him as he had asked in the garden of Gethsemane? Well, we wouldn’t have a chance.  He died for our sins, and without him as our Redeemer, we would have no hope.  No hope of going on to Paradise, no hope of eternal life.  The choice that Adam and Eve had made in Eden would remain with us forever.

So while some things can’t be turned around, we should move on.  Staying behind only hurts us.  And those things we regret?  There’s still a chance for most.  Fixing past regrets may not happen the way you think it should, but there will be something you can do.  Sometimes a person can die and you regret so much from when they were alive.  Don’t make the same mistakes with someone else.  I’ve grown up with the saying, “Let go and let God.”  Sometimes that’s all we can do, and really, letting Him take over is the best thing we can do.  In fact, it should be mandatory.  He’ll guide our steps.  He’ll show us what we need to do, and sometimes He’ll just do it for us.

So, let go of the “what ifs.”  They won’t help you today.  Fix those regrets.  “Let go and let God.”  He is a constant.  I had a song continuously playing in my head yesterday while I was painting, and one of the lines said, “Mercy doesn’t care what you’ve done, so come home.”  God’s grace and mercy will always be with you.  Seek it out.  And live for today.

Dear Heavenly Father, please take away our “what ifs” and all our regrets.  Help us live for today, seeking you as we continue on in our lives.  Guide us along the way, and show us what you want us to do in our lives.  Each of us has a separate path that you’ve dedicated to us, but each of us share the same mercy and grace that you so freely give.  Thank you, Lord, for giving us a chance.

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I Can.

2/25/2013

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I can.  Two simple words that flashed a few times on the TV screen at the first small church group meeting of the semester.  The video we watched was an introductory video for Run for God, and the focus was on the Hoyts, a father/son team who are well known in the racing field.  According to their website,* Rick, the son, was diagnosed as a spastic quadriplegic with cerebral palsy as a result of oxygen deprivation to his brain at the time of his birth.  Their story is an amazing one.  The father, Dick, began running when Rick told him of a race for the physically disabled.  Now Dick runs marathons, triathlons, and even the Iron Man while pushing or pulling Rick right along with him.  Through their amazing efforts they are a prime example of “I can.”

I can’t.  Two words that don’t go well together when we’re called to do something.  I can’t.  An excuse.  Each year for ten years since the age of 13 I attended a weekend-long retreat with my church’s teen choir – later it became a full youth weekend.  Somehow I had always remembered the date, October 10th, but I could not for the life of me remember the year until I came across the packet for this one particular retreat, my first as an adult staff member.  It was 1997, and on that October day over Columbus Day weekend we held a funeral for “I Can’t.”  Seriously!  Someone made a tombstone out of cardboard or whatever, and wrote “I Can’t died October 10th, 1997.” This went along with a session talking about how we should never say, “I can’t,” but rather, “I’ll try.”  What a difference that one word change makes.  It takes us from completely giving up on ourselves before even trying, to actually giving it a try.  “I’ll try” doesn’t mean we’ll succeed, but it calls us to action, and for that we are able to be proud that we did try no matter what, and because we tried we glorify God.  How awesome does that sound?

Dick Hoyt never thought that he would be running races, competing time and time again, but when he was called he took the challenge, and he and his son Rick have become an inspiration to the world.  They emulate the “I can” spirit.

Today, hold your own funeral for “I Can’t.”  Say goodbye to it forever, and from now on start using the words, “I’ll try.”  No matter what challenge it may be.  It may be a physical challenge such as getting up and exercising, training for that race that you never even dreamed you would run, hiking that mountain you’ve loved looking at but never thought you would climb.  It could be something related to a job, whether paid or volunteer.  It could even be something as “simple” as talking to a person you’ve seen around but have never had the courage to talk to.  Whatever call you may be receiving, try putting “I’ll try” as your response instead of “I can’t,” and see where you go.

“I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” ~Philippians 4:13 (emphasis mine)

Dear Heavenly Father, I just want to thank You for giving us all the phrase, “I can,” and showing us that, if we fix our eyes on You, if we trust in You, You will give us the strength to carry it out.  Help us to say, “I can’t,” no longer. May our “I’ll try” turn into “I can,” and then become, “I did.”

* http://www.teamhoyt.com/index.html

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Praise, Glory and Honor

2/17/2013

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I was standing in church this morning, singing and praising God as we do during the first part of service, and one of the songs really touched me.  “Oh, Your cross, it changes everything.  There my life begins again with You.  Oh, Your cross, it’s where my hope restarts.  A second chance is Heaven’s heart.”  Another part of that song reads, “Countless second chances we’ve been given at the cross.”  Such beautiful lyrics.  It brought my mind back to where I was, and the “countless chances” I've been given.  It’s His cross where my life changed; changed for the better.  He gave me this hope.  Nothing I do should be without Him.  Then the next song began, and as I was singing along I found myself praying during the breaks.  I don’t even remember what song it was now, but what I prayed was that God forgave me for being distant these past few weeks, and then I told Him that He alone deserves glory, that He deserves all praise, and that He alone is good.  I told Him that I didn’t want to do anything unless it glorified Him.  I told Him that I knew I shouldn’t seek glory and praise for myself, but for Him.  In everything I do it should be to praise God, and to teach about Him.  In everything I do I want people to see God.

A Scripture verse I’ve come to love this week is Psalm 73:26.  It reads, “My heart and flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”  He is the one who gives me strength.  He is the one who gives me all that I have, and without Him I have nothing.  All that I do, all that I seek to do, should honor and glorify Him.  He’s the one who deserves the praise for what I do, not me.

Recently I had been offered a volunteer position for a website.  It’s a “traveling with kids” website where people write reviews of different places they’ve been to, to help other parents decide whether or not they want to take their kids.  It’s a great resource, and I was asked to head up assignments in New York State.  At first I was afraid because of my fear of phones and communication,  but I decided to push through and really give it some thought and prayer.  I didn’t want to brush it off so quickly.  Unfortunately, though, I felt like I was pushing God away, though I prayed for a decision.  What I realized right before I emailed the one in charge of this with a “no” was that what had kept me from saying no until that point was the fact that I would have loved to see my name and picture up with the rest of volunteers who do this same thing in other states.  That was my big draw.  Sure, it might be fun, and it would be a big help to the site, but I wanted to see my name up there.  I wanted to be recognized.  When I received an email detailing what was involved, I knew it was just too much for me to handle with everything else in my life right now.  I had to look at my priorities and there was no place for this.  I told my husband that it was pride that had been keeping me from saying no as he had watched me struggle with a decision.

I used to sing with my church when I was a teenager up through my early twenties.  I love to sing, and this was one of my favorite things to do.  But as the years passed I realized that I wasn’t singing to glorify God, but myself.  I reveled in people coming up to me and thanking me for a solo I sang, telling me how beautiful my voice was.  Oh how great that felt.  I would get upset with myself if I didn’t do a great job with this song or that, and I would wait to see if anyone would praise me the Sunday mornings I felt I did superb job.  As I entered into my later twenties my husband and I ended up at a different church, but I would skip a Sunday here and there to head back to my old church whenever my dad asked if I wanted to sing with him – he would cantor certain Sundays, and I loved to sing with him, but again I was looking for praise since we always chose such wonderful duets to sing together.  It was all about me.

I still find myself at times looking for praise for myself, which is why this morning was so perfect.  I was reminded that I have to focus on giving Him glory.  I want to write to teach about God, to bring people to Him.  When I sing, I want it to be giving praise to Him and only Him.  This is true with anything I do in my life.  I just need to remember this.

2 Corinthians 4:5-6 says this:  “For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants of Jesus’ sake.  For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.”  It’s not for ourselves, but for Him.  We need to be humble servants, seeking praise and glory only for Him.  This is what we are called to do.  This is what He gives us when we come to Him.  When we humble ourselves and allow Him to guide our actions everything will be where it should.

In Psalm 34, verses 1-3 David writes, “I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips.  My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.  Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together.”  Interestingly enough this was one of the psalms I used to sing at church.  The answer was right in front of me the whole time, but I never saw it.  I love what David says in verse five, just two verses later.  He says, “Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.”  When we seek to glorify God and not ourselves, His light makes us radiant.  When people see us ,God shines through.  Because we make Him the focus, give Him all credit, we will never be shamed.  Oh how good that feels!  I’m giddy just thinking about that.

So, let’s not seek praise for ourselves, but for Him, and Him alone.  Let us seek out His glory.  Let us be humble servants, never taking praise for ourselves.

Lord God, thank you for showing me that all praise, glory and honor goes to You, and when I give it to You, You will make me shine with Your light; my face will never be covered in shame.

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Reach Out, Cry Out

2/12/2013

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In Psalm 69, verses 1-3, David cries:

“Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck.  I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold.  I have come into the deep waters; the floods engulf me.  I am worn out calling for help; my throat is parched.  My eyes fail, looking for my God.”

The night I read those verses I was exhausted.  I knew that I couldn’t go to sleep without first cracking open my Bible and reading at least a Psalm or two.  And this is the Psalm I read.  As I read it I felt as if it were me calling out.  This is how I felt, though before I read this I couldn’t describe it.  I felt like I was drowning.  I felt overwhelmed, and I was slipping.  I’ve been working hard, and thanking God for everything He has allowed in my life, but there seemed to be something holding me back, something trying to get in the way.  It’s not gone yet, but I am made aware of it, and I need to put all of my trust on Him who created all things.  He will get me out of the depths that I feel I am sinking into.

If I just grab hold of His life raft I can be free.  What I need to remember, though, is that this is a time of testing.  This morning I did devotions with my daughter before sending her on her way to Chess Club at school.  Today’s devotion was about dark days verses light days.  During our light days everything goes well, and we feel like we’re on cloud nine.  The devotion says that His Light mixes with ours.  But on those dark days, those days where nothing seems to be going right, that’s when we need to make sure to seek His Light.  The devotion says that that’s when God is testing us, training us to seek His Light.  It’s those dark days where we feel most vulnerable.  All we need to do is turn to Him.

The chorus from Casting Crowns’ song, “I’ll Praise You in This Storm” just came to my mind:

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

That’s exactly what I’m talking about.  We need to praise Him not only when our times are good, but also when they are bad.  We need to remember that He is good, and each storm that passes is a way to make us stronger.  He wants us to cry out to Him.  We should not be too proud to admit when we feel like we are sinking (yes, that’s a huge problem for me, which is why I’m just now writing this).  He is there to lift us up; all we need to do is cry out, lift up our hands, and praise the Lord God Almighty because He will never leave our side.

Instead of embracing what could be his fate, David asks God to save him.  In verses 14-17 he says:

“Rescue me from the mire, do not let me sink; deliver me from those who hate me, from the deep waters.  Do not let the floodwaters engulf me or the depths swallow me up or the pit close its mouth over me.  Answer me, O Lord, out of the goodness of your love; in your great mercy turn to me.  Do not hide your face from your servant; answer me quickly, for I am in trouble.”

We should learn by David’s example.  He wasn’t too proud to call out when he was in trouble, and he called out to the only One who could really help him.  There is no problem too great for God, and even if we slip, He will grab hold of us.  All we need to do is ask.  He is always with us, and He will never forsake us.

Dear Lord Jesus, I praise You in good times and in bad, for You are always good.  Help me to remember that no matter how far I feel I may slip, how deep the waters around me, You will always be there to pick me up.  Thank you, Lord God.

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Comfort Zone

2/5/2013

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My daughter is not a big fan of quiche.  Okay, to be honest, she hates it.  At least she says she does.  Each week my kids get to pick a meal that they’ll help me cook (they look through my cookbooks and cooking magazines), and one night last week my youngest son chose the “ever popular” quiche.   Oh so good; it’s one of my favorites.  My daughter protested before the day even came.  That night we were in a bit of a hurry because she had to get to her swimming class, and she claimed that her stomach was bothering her so she stayed away from the table for a little bit.  No time to eat.  Hmm….  Before we left for swimming she promised she would eat it for breakfast the next morning (after all, it is a breakfast dish!)

The next morning I warmed up the quiche and placed it down in front of her.  She looked at it.  She did not want to touch it.  There were pancakes left over from my husband’s breakfast, and she eyed those.  We told her she could have them after she ate this one small pie shaped piece of quiche.  She threw a fit, and continued to tell us, “Quiche makes me sick” – which it doesn’t.  Finally, after yelling and tears, she took a tiny bite, if you could call it that.  She began to gag.  And I began to get even more angry.  Needless to say, she finished the quiche, did not have the pancakes, and missed her bus in the process because she didn’t get moving.  It was not the best morning.

This isn’t the first fight we’ve had over food.  One stuffed mushroom which she really didn’t like has been the bane of the dinner table before, and she really did not like that.  Another dish has also played a part in this that, after all the fights, the grounding, and the serving it to her for dinner and breakfast until it was gone, she realized she actually liked.  Of course, because she had convinced herself that she wasn’t going to like it, it took a while to break through her pride and get her to admit that she really did.

There’s a story about my husband when he was a child.  He hated salmon, and he had told me that it used to make him throw up.  I enlightened him by telling him that it wasn’t the salmon that made him throw up, it was his temper tantrum and the fact that he convinced himself it would do so.  He sees that now, and though he still doesn’t like fish of any type save for shrimp, he eats it without incident.

This is what happens when we tell ourselves what the outcome will be before it actually happens.  “I’m not going to like this.”  “This will make me sick.”  “It won’t turn out well, so there’s no point in trying.”  There are hundreds of thousands of excuses out there that we cling to so that we can get out of the things that are not pleasing to us.

I don’t like phones.  I admit, I hate talking on the phone.  In my life there have been only a select few people who I’ve actually enjoyed talking to on the phone, and with them I could talk forever about nothing and I loved it.  But otherwise, I hate phones.  Calling to make appointments makes me anxious.  It takes me forever to get to it (when my husband refuses to do it for me), and I have to prepare.  I write down who I’m calling, the phone number, who I’m making the appointment for, and any other information I may need at the time.  I rehearse in my head what I’m going to say when someone at the other end answers.  Yes, I suffer from this.  It’s something I need to work on.  When I worked at Babies R Us I was the one who would place calls in the morning letting people know the furniture they had ordered was in and ready to be picked up.  I would double check who I was calling, dial, and while I listened to the ringing of their phone I would pray that that it was their answering machine so I could just leave a quick message.  That didn’t always work.

So it’s really no surprise that when I was asked to play a bigger role for a traveling with kids website- I’ve been a member for a few years and love writing reviews- recently that I freaked out.  It sounds like it would be fun; I’d have to find businesses where someone from the site could go (free of charge) and write a review about their time there.  That place would take care of all or most of the expenses.  Both the establishment and the one chosen to go would have to go through me.  When I told my husband about it he said, “You’ll probably have to have use the phone and you know how you are with phones.”  Big blow.  I do know how bad I am, how anxious I get around them (can I just say I love caller ID and my answering machine?).  My husband was giving up on me before I had a chance.  I was sick with worry from that point on, and I was going to tell them that I wasn’t interested.  But I wasn’t ready to say no just yet.  I don’t know why.  Instead I told the woman I was in contact with that I would like to hear more about it, and we agreed that she would call me this week (yes, the phone.  Joy).  I’ll make my decision after that.  Who knows.  Maybe this will be a good opportunity for me.  Maybe this is God’s way of getting me out of my comfort zone.  The day this all happened I wrote on as my Facebook status: “I like my comfort zone, thank you very much.”  And it’s true.  I don’t want to do anything that goes beyond that.

But God tries to get us out of our comfort zones to do His will.  As it is, it’s not easy being a Christian in a fallen world.  We’re called to go against the grain, and that’s not an easy feat.  But we can’t make excuses for not doing something whether it’s eating, working, volunteering, or just helping someone out.  If it exceeds our area of comfort, we need to seek Him to help us out.  More than likely He’s the one telling us that we need to do this.  I have heard so many excuses, “I can’t do it,” “That’s just not me,” “I’m too old,”  “I’m too young,” “It’s not my forte,” and so on.  Fear, pride, age, time, money, they all tend to weasel their way into our lives, giving us an “out.”  We can excuse ourselves to death if we try hard enough.

What would this world look like if Mary had said, “Yeah, great.  I don’t think I can do that.  I’m too afraid of what my parents and Joseph’s parents would say, not to mention Joseph himself.  Besides, I’m too young.  Why don’t you find someone a little older than me?”  Savior of the world?  Where would He be?

Or what if Jesus had given up on Peter when he got out of the boat and tried to walk to Jesus on the water?  “Well boy, you blew that one.  Maybe you shouldn’t have come out here since your faith is so weak.”  I don’t see Jesus saying that.

We can even look at King David’s life.  He was called up a couple of times.  “Hey David, slay this giant for us, okay?”  “Yeah, thanks, but I think I’ll pass.  I’m just a shepherd, the youngest of my brothers, and by no means the largest.  I’ll just stay here in the field.  Thanks anyway.”  Or, “You will be the next king.”  “Wow, that sounds so great, but I’m happy where I am. No one will want to listen to me, and I know I’m not cut out to be a king.  If I were I would not have been born the way I was.  Let someone else take it from here.”

“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”  This is the message Jesus taught us in Matthew 19:26.  So if we set our fears, our worries, on Him and learn to trust Him, He will lead us through.  Maybe we’ll find that we weren’t meant to do what we thought we were being called to at that moment.  Maybe it was actually leading us somewhere else.  Or maybe we were called, and as scary as it may be, we should embrace it with God’s help and be the best we could be.  It’s a growth process.  Learning to trust the Lord will help us grow in Him, and we will be able to do things we have convinced ourselves we can’t do.

I’m still not sure what my answer will be to the position, but I’ve been praying about it, seeking His answer to the question of whether or not this is what I’m being called to.  My daughter will, bless her heart, still complain about the foods she swears up and down she does not like whether she has tried it or not, but I know one day she’ll start trying new things and realize just how much she does like.  I know that from experience with myself and my change in attitude toward food over the years.

What have you been struggling with, telling yourself that you can’t do for reasons that seem perfectly logical to you?  Bring them all to Jesus.

Lord, I just thank You for promising to always be there for us when we need you, knowing that You are always by our side.  Remind us daily to bring our cares to You, Lord, and help us to trust in You so we may be able to step out of the comfort zone that we have created for ourselves.  You did not create that for us, for You want so much more.

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Perfection

1/29/2013

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I have a confession to make.  It’s really hard to say, but bear with me.  I’m. Not. Perfect.  Pfew!  I’m glad I got that off my chest.  Seriously though, I’m not.  I’m not perfect.  I’m not perfect.  No matter how many times I tell my kids I am (and they just laugh at me) I’m not perfect.  Sorry, that was really just for me, not you.  I have to remind myself that I’m not.  I may have been born in the perfect image of God, but that doesn’t mean I am perfect.  Though it would be nice.   Oh the things I could do if that were true.  I would never have to worry about misunderstanding and doing the wrong thing in front of others – because, well, when you’re perfect everything you do is perfect.  I could take my cello out of the case, sit down, and start playing a beautiful cello concerto instead of accidentally knocking my bridge off and putting it back in its case to wait until I can get it fixed.  Oh, and I would never have broken a guitar string on not one, but two guitars that now remain unplayable until, again, I get them fixed.  I would be given a piece of music and could sing it perfectly the first time on pitch (okay, some people really do have perfect pitch, but I don’t).  Or I could write that novel I want to write in no time flat and have no editing problems.  Because I’d be perfect.

But I’m not perfect. And of course the Bible is very happy to remind me of that.  I can’t read through the book of Proverbs completely without saying, “whoops” more than once.  Here are a few of my “oh so favorites”:

“A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret” (Pr 11:13).  For the record, I’m not part of the gossiping crowd.  But it doesn’t mean I never was.  In fact, when I was in high school I prided myself on being the “gossip queen,” knowing peoples business, though not really airing it beyond my small group of friends.  And just a few years ago I was in a group where it was gossip or sit quietly because it was the only thing I could really think of to talk about; other people’s business.  That is no longer me.  I have left that arena far behind and I’m better for it.

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom” (Pr 11:2).  Pride.  Now there’s a problem I have.  A big one, really.  I have prayed for humility, and I’m working on it, but I still have my issues with it.  I was actually talking with my pastor after church one Sunday and he had told me how I’ve become more humble.  Oops.  Guess my pride really shone through there before that day.  Of course that was a great compliment, especially since I knew it was something to work on and continued to remind myself.  I continue to remind myself of that.  Pride hurts me.  When it shines through I make the wrong choices, and then I regret them later.  But they’re done, and there’s nothing more I can do.  It has even kept me from doing things or saying things that I wanted because it would stand between me and whatever I was facing.  For one thing, if I hear someone recount a story of something that happened to them, I’ll make sure not to have it happen to me because, well, I’d just be copying them and it wouldn’t be real.  Seriously?  Why couldn’t it happen?  Especially if it was a “God thing?”  A lot of people have experiences that are similar, and sometimes we need to read or hear about someone else’s experience to realize that that’s what happening to us right now.

Yes, I have a pride issue, but I’m working on it.  I’m asking God to help me become more humble.

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control” (Pr 29:11).  I’m a fool.  Guilty as charged.  I have had a terrible temper since I was at least a teenager, and there are times when it likes to surface, though I’m happy to announce that it doesn’t show as often as it once had.  I loved my dad, but growing up we didn’t always see eye-to-eye.  It was a habit of ours to have what I would call “swearing fights.”  Who could out-swear the other, and who would win the fight?  Usually I won, but that’s another story.  His temper burned as much as mine, and I don’t think anyone really wanted to be in the house when it was going on.  Oh, my poor mother.  Our relationship got better once I went off to college, and our spats were far and few between, and not as much cursing.

And then I got married.  I love my husband, but there are times when he can drive me completely insane.  I’ve yelled at him, I’ve said terrible things, and I’ve threatened to walk out.  I’ve even used the “D” word a few times.  Can I just say, “Thank you, Lord,” for keeping us together, and now when we fight my temper is a lot more tame.  Sure, I’ll slam cabinet doors, the drawer in the fridge (yeah, a piece of that is broken now), or throw a wet sponge at him in anger, but I no longer threaten to walk out or to divorce him.  I’ve learned a few years ago that I can’t do stuff like that.  The rest of it I still need to work on.  I’m hoping for a day when I can find a better solution to my temper and actually put it into action.   I still have a ways to go with that.  Like I said, I’m not perfect.  But I’m not proud of my temper.  It only serves to hurt me, my husband, and my children.  Thankfully my children see us make up, and we do talk to them about our fights.

“A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult” (Pr 12:16).  I would have to say that this in a way goes along with my temper issues.  Again, something to work on.

Hmm…I should go back into Proverbs and see if Solomon wrote anything on forgetfulness.  The Lord was so great to guide me through this post today.  I said I wasn’t perfect, right?  Today is Tuesday.  All day I kept thinking that it was Monday, though I knew I was going to my mom’s house tonight for my sister’s birthday party.  Tuesday.  The day my daughter has orchestra.  She plays a quarter-size cello and therefore needs to be driven to and from school.  Since he has to go to work anyway my husband drops her off at school for 7:30 in the morning, and then I pick her up around 3:10 in the afternoon.  My cell phone rang at 3:41.  I had completely forgotten to pick her up!  I said I’d be “right there” – it takes about ten to fifteen minutes to get there from home - but when I hung up I realized that my sons were already making their way home on the bus.  Someone would have to be there for them.  My mind reeled.  I could talk to my neighbor about getting the boys while I went to pick up my daughter – she has been a saint when things happen and I need someone to help – or I could, oh, I don’t know.  Then I remembered that my husband had called to tell me he was on his way home.  How long ago was that?  I picked up the phone and called him.  He was at the end of the highway near the town her school is in.  It would take him about the same amount of time (if not less) to get to her school than it would take for me, and this way I could stay home and wait.  Oh, God is good.  See?  I’M NOT PERFECT.  And here’s God telling me that.  So I should stop the tears and just apologize to my daughter for making her wait so long.  Interesting that this would all happen while I’m writing this post.  Thanks for driving the point home, God.

No one is perfect.  This is a world of imperfect people.  We all have our follies, our “fool’s way,” but it doesn’t mean we can’t work at being better.  When Solomon wrote his “woe to you” speeches, he didn’t leave it at that.  He told us how we should be. 

“A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.”  Be trustworthy.

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”  Be humble.

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”  Exhibit self-control.

“A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.”  Don’t take a fools words personally.

If we look to how we should act, we can correct how we do act.  Then we’ll no longer be fools.  I know what I have to work on.  Seek for yourself what areas you need help with, and ask God for His perfect help.

Dear Lord, I pray that you help us all with those places that are not pleasing to you.  Point them out to us, and show us how to change.  We want to do all things for You.

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Stronger

1/28/2013

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Despite the cold weather – it was 15 degrees out and snowing – I felt motivated enough to walk around my neighborhood.  I’ve been exercising for the past week, and I’ve been hurting.  The “new to exercise” soreness that I’m not a stranger to since I’ve started this type of thing a few times.  Because I knew it would pass, I pushed on, though I constantly prayed that the Lord would take the pain away quickly.  “At least by Friday since I have to volunteer at my son’s school.”  It hurt to walk, and it hurt even more to sit down or stand up.

But this day I kept pushing on.  I had i-heart radio playing K-LOVE on my phone, so I was all set with Christian music and inspiration.  I also continued to talk with God, my own little private time.

Now, my idea was to walk to the fork in the road, take a left, and then see how far I went – whether I turned down the first street for a shorter walk or kept going to make it a longer one would be decided in time.  There was a route I would work up to, once the warmer days of Spring or Summer came, but until then I was going to leave that alone.  As I walked along the road, heading toward the fork, I tried to push aside a “little voice” telling me to continue on.  It was telling me to go beyond this fork and walk to the road I wanted to go to when it was warm.  I didn’t want to do it, but I realized who was telling me this and decided not to fight it.  I knew that if I turned when I wanted to that I wouldn’t feel right about it.  A blatant disobeying.

So, when I reached that fork I continued on.  It was cold, but I was kept warm most of the way.  I reached that road and then I heard, “turn around.”  It didn’t feel right, and though I would have loved to, I turned down the street and continued on.  That felt right.  Down that road, then left to follow the next.  The next question was which road do I travel next?  Cut the walk short, or go all the way and make a full five mile walk?  I waited for the Lord to direct my steps.  I put my trust in Him, and let Him guide me.  As I got closer to the first road I heard, “go this way.”  Not knowing if it were true or if it was just me saying it, I asked.  “Is that you or is it me?”  “It’s me,” I heard, so I turned.  As I was walking down the road, my legs still sore from being used more than they had for a long time, Mandisa’s song “Stronger” came on and I had to laugh.  I know that it’s not about physical weakness and pain, but at that moment that’s exactly what it was for me.

“When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me, this is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger”

All I kept thinking was that yes, I was hurting now, but if I continued the pain would go away.  And I knew that I was working to become stronger.  Stronger physically, and also stronger spiritually.  In my journey to a healthier me I am working on my walk with Him, and here He was telling me that if I kept going I would be stronger.  He was going to be with me all along the way.  He just had a sense of humor about it.

This also reminds me of a verse I tend to repeat throughout my thirty minutes of exercise each morning: “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).  It seems to help, especially through the really difficult parts, and I truly believe it when I say it.

We need to remember that no matter what we’re going through – whether physical, mental, or spiritual- that we rely on Him to strengthen us.

Dear Lord, thank you for giving me your strength, for showing me that if I just rely on you no matter how hard things may get you will make me stronger.

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The Harvest

1/25/2013

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What is wrong with this world?  Why do these tragedies have to continue?  Why do we have to put up with it?  And, Jesus, WHY do these people have to remain on the face of the earth?

Life on the earth, I feel, would be far easier if all the evil were gone.  Nothing remaining.  Just happy go lucky people, serving and praising God.  There would be no senseless killings, no kidnapping, no hurting.  We would no longer be scared.  We could sit back, relax, and enjoy the life we have here on this earth until we are called up to heaven.  And everyone would be called up there if there was no evil driving people to turn from God.

After the tragedy in Connecticut at Sandy Hook Elementary I was devastated.  That day I had just been in my son’s Kindergarten class as I volunteer there every Friday.  I also volunteer every Friday for what’s known as Caring Kids Club, where two kids from each class are picked each week to participate because they have been caught being “caring kids.”  These are Kindergartners and first graders.  I heard the news and my mind immediately went to the school I was at not all that long ago.  Devastating.

And then it was time for their funerals.  Heart wrenching, but what made it worse was the fact that Westboro Baptist Church was protesting their funerals.  These were people who had done nothing worth protesting.  They were attending school, they were teaching, they were trying their best to protect the lives of the little ones.  Why would these people come all the way to Connecticut to protest?  There was even talk about them coming to my home turf to protest funerals of firemen who were taken down by a sniper during a house fire that said sniper had purposely caused to draw them out.  I call this group a hate group.  There is no love.  They are working for the wrong side, and I don’t think they even realize it.  They have been blinded.  They have forgotten what they’re protesting.

It was because of the protest of the funerals in Connecticut that made me cry out to God and ask “Why?”  WHY are there people like this in the world?  Why do people have to hate?  Why do people have to kill?  Why can’t they just go away?  God has the power over life and death.  Why can’t He just get rid of them all?

And then I opened up my Bible.  That night’s reading was Matthew 13, and in that reading was the Parable of the Weeds, verses 24-30.  God spelled out the answer right then and there.  This parable is about a man sowing good seed in his field, “but while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat” (v.25).  So, in this field, that was originally planned for good crops, both good and bad grew.  Good and evil.

vv.27-28: “The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field?  Where then did the weeds come from?”

“’And enemy did this,’ he replied.

“The servants asked him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’”

See?  Even they wanted to get rid of what was bad.  Why can’t we just pull them up?  It doesn’t make sense to let them stay here.  Or does it?

V.29:  “’No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them.’”

Oh.  So, let me get this right.  If we purge this world of all the “bad people” some of the good may be caught up in it?  Hmm…so because of this whole Salvation thing, there’s still a chance for those who are doing wrong to turn before their time comes?  It’s true that Satan has his workers.  There’s no two ways about that.  “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire.  He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding the truth, for there is no truth in him.  When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44).

But he also tries to get others to go along with his plans, those who have been called by God but have yet to answer.  “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners” (Mark 2:17).  And weren’t we all there at one point?  We were all sinners until we asked for forgiveness and asked Jesus into our hearts.  And for those who have not done this yet, God has made time for it to happen.  People would completely miss their opportunity to change if the world was “cleansed” prematurely.  Okay.  So, basically, God is telling us that we need to recognize that, yes, there is evil in this world (we should never turn a blind eye to it), and that we need to continue to do as we have been taught.  We need to pray for the lost, and we need to witness.    

If we stayed in our homes, locked away with our families in a hidden closet, frightened of what is out there, praying that God just takes away the evil so we could come back out, we would be ignoring our part in this life.

The finale?

v.30: “’Let both grow together until the harvest.  At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’”

God is our judge.  As promised He will separate the good from the evil when the time finally comes to do so, and because He is perfect He will not make mistakes.  At that time, those who have accepted His son, thereby accepting Him, will go on to life everlasting.  Those who do the work of the devil until the last day will descend to be with him.

But for now, we need to do the Lord’s work.  He loves it each time a lost sheep is found, every time a prodigal son returns.

Dear heavenly Father, help us not to get caught up with the evils of the world.  Help us to remember that we were once lost, and by Your grace we have been found.  Help us to be a reflection of you.

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“Sometimes I Thank God for Unanswered Prayers”

1/22/2013

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    I love the song by Garth Brooks called “Unanswered Prayers.”  It makes you think about your life and wonder what it would have been like if God DID answer that prayer.  “Lord, please let me marry someone rich and famous, or even just a wealthy doctor or lawyer.  You know how expensive my taste is.”  Or, “Lord, this is how I would like my life to play out.  Please make it happen.”  But He gives you something else instead.  The chorus of the song goes like this:

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

    I do thank Him for the unanswered prayer for a marriage partner.  Yes, my father always told me to marry rich because of my expensive taste, but God introduced me to a chemist who, though the title sounds like it would be great, doesn’t see nearly as much salary as I had hoped for.  But I’m in love with him, and he’s a huge reason I’ve become so close to God.  He’s truly helped me in my faith walk, and he's my best friend.  We have three beautiful children together, a house in what I call “suburbia in the country,” aka. a housing development in a rural town with a cornfield at the end of the street, good schools, a great church, and the list goes on.  Thank you, Lord, for that unanswered prayer.

Oh, but this isn’t about unanswered prayers.  Nope.  This post is about an answered prayer that, well, I really didn’t want answered.  Or maybe I did, but I think He answered too quickly for me.  Yeah, maybe that’s it.  Anyway, let me start from the beginning, or at least a beginning.

    In January 2009 I decided that I was just too fat.  The scale read the numbers I never fathomed I would be reading on a scale.  I had three kids, no exercise regimen, and poor eating habits.  I was over 200 pounds.  214 to be exact.  Not cool.  In an online forum-based mom’s group I was a member of at that time a new forum called “Biggest Loser” was created.  It was based on the popular TV show of the same name, and anyone in the group who wanted to take part in this private forum could do so.  We shared recipes, gave each other exercise and eating tips, and really motivated each other.  Through that group I was introduced to an exercise program I could do on my Wii, and I fell in love with a healthy living website called SparkPeople (www.sparkpeople.com).  By April I had lost 40 pounds.  I dropped from a size 20/22 pants to a size 14, and my next goal was a size 12.  I loved the way I was starting to look in the mirror.  I could smile at my reflection.  I was happy, and my mood and my energy were far better than they had been.

    Then May hit.  On May 3rd my father died suddenly of a massive heart attack on the 4th green at his favorite 9 hole golf course.  Following his death I became addicted to coffee.  No, not just coffee.  Specialty coffee.  Oh so yummy sugar and fat filled coffees found a McDonalds and Starbucks (I hadn’t yet started my love for Tim Hortons).  I would make any excuse to stop.  I was so bad that when I would drive home from my mom’s or the mall (two towns over) I would pull into the McDonalds parking lot that just so happened to be on my way, pull up to the drive-thru, and order a medium mocha.  Sometimes a large, never a small.  If my kids were in the car I’d feel bad, so I would ask if they wanted chicken nuggets.  Way to go mom!  Yes!  Yeah…..

    So my fattening coffee addiction was under way.  Then, in September my five-year-old son was diagnosed with cancer.  We lived in the hospital for the first month, eating oh so healthy hospital food.  Oh, and in the lobby?  My now favorite coffee of all time:  Finger Lakes Coffee Roasters.  I had such wonderful friends through my mommy group, and they bestowed upon me little gift certificates and a punch card for the coffee stand in the lobby.  Or the one near the green elevators.  Didn’t matter, they were both the same.  And of course his treatments took three months to fully finish, plus every other month for a while after we had to go back for CTs and blood work.  I looked forward to those visits.  Mmmm….  Yes, bad mom.

    Needless to say, my healthy eating habits deteriorated.  I still made healthy meals at times, but too often we were eating pizza, Chinese take-out, eating out at different restaurants (I don’t need to tell you what that did to our finances), and stopping through the drive-thrus.  Oh how I watched for Starbucks drive-thrus on our way to different vacation spots.  I would have to come up with an excuse, typically, “I’m tired because of traveling and really need a pick-me-up.”  My husband knew better, and more than once he just kept on driving.  Good boy.

    So where is this long winded story going?  It’s going to get even longer.

    I’ve tried, and failed, to get back into the eating right and exercising routine.  I have put my 14s on hold for a while and have been praying that I don’t go above 16.  I’m holding steady, but those 16s have started to get a little tight.  Not good.  It doesn’t help that I would sit on the couch all day (not every day, but once or twice a week when I decided to have a lazy day) and watch about 5 episodes of a K-drama.  K-dramas are dramas from Korea, spoken in Korean with English subtitles.  Hey, I was getting some reading done!  Did I forget to mention that each episode was about 1 hour and 15 minutes long?  I’m not proud of that, I admit it.  So my whole day was wasted on the lives of made up characters in a country halfway around the world, wishing I had a life like they did.  All this while eating a tub of hummus with pretzel chips or pita chips (it’s healthy, right?).

    Yeah, I probably knew I was gaining weight, but I didn’t care.  Until I did.  In my church the new year always starts off with a 21 day fast.  My husband and I tried the Daniel Fast one year, decided it was too costly to do in the winter time, and gave up.  That was two years ago.  Last year I was bound and determined to do some fast, but I don’t even think I made it two days.  This year I made a more realistic goal for myself, and I’ve been doing well.  I allow myself only one cup of coffee a day, and not the specialty kind.  One cup (in the morning) from my Keurig, and I can only put skim milk and sugar (or Splenda) in it.  No International Delight creamers.  I’m learning to drink tea now, and I don’t allow myself to put anything in it.  I don’t snack in between meals unless I really need something because time between lunch and dinner is extended for some reason, but only a healthy snack (a truly healthy one) is allowed.  I don’t play games on my phone, and I don’t watch anime or K-dramas.  And you know what?  I feel amazing!  I’m reading my Bible still, making healthier decisions for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I’m reading “Made to Crave” by Lysa Terkeurst (http://madetocrave.org/).  LOVE that book.  If you’re looking for a way to make your body healthier while at the same time drawing closer to God, this book is the one to go to.

    So what does this have to do with answered prayers?  Well, since I started reading Lysa’s book I’ve been more motivated.  I wanted to start slow, and that’s what I did.  I started just with eating better.  Exercise would come shortly.  I started officially exercising (oh, who am I kidding, I started exercising) this past Friday, but I knew it was coming.  Lysa had written in her book about finding a friend to be accountable to, and even to exercise with.  Well, I don’t really have anyone like that, so that wasn’t an easy chapter for me to read.  But, I took it to God, and I asked that He put someone in my life whom I could do this with.  More to the point, I had, back in 2010, taken a running class with a friend through a fitness store, and the “graduation” was a 5k.  My first and only.  I had actually enjoyed getting up early on Saturdays to run with the group.  Unfortunately, it was just too much to keep driving the distance I had to to do this, and my friend lives just as far.  I just wanted something close by, someone to run, or even walk, with.

    Small groups!  Our church has two semesters each year of small groups, and this past Fall they tried something new.  Instead of going to your normal “Life group” as they had been called, you now got to see what each group was offering that semester by way of content, and you could decide what you wanted to do.  In Fall it was fairly easy.  It was a tossup between the book of Ruth or C.S. Lewis’ book The Screw Tape Letters.  My husband and I opted for Ruth, and it was great.  This semester, however, I wasn’t so thrilled about the picks.  It wasn’t a matter of, “which one should I choose,” but a matter of, “I hate them all.  I don’t want to do any of them.  Couldn’t someone have picked something good?”

    Wow.  If anyone is reading this who actually is a leader of one of those groups, please don’t take offense.  It’s not you.  It’s me.  I knew that there were quite a few there that I would have loved to have done, but because I was being led in a direction I didn’t want to go, nothing looked appealing.  One of those groups was called Run for God (through www.runforgod.com).  The group will meet on Tuesday nights, and there’s an optional Saturday morning run/walk.  Nope.  Not gonna do it.  My husband is doing the men’s group on Tuesday night, and we wanted to do our groups on different nights so the kids didn’t have to go out.  Yeah, so what if the leaders house is right across the street from the street my kids’ friends live on?  Nope.  Not doing it.  I’m not getting up early on a Saturday.  I LIKE sleeping in on Saturdays.  Nope.  Not gonna do it.  I was so mad and practically in tears as I was talking to my husband about how terrible the picks were this time around for groups.  I told him that maybe this was God’s way of telling me to take a semester off.  But then I could see myself sitting in church, my pastor praising the small groups and asking who was already in one.  I could see my husband’s hand go up, but not my own, and I knew I’d be missing out on something.  OK.  So then, what do I pick?  I decided I would look through the paper again with the descriptions of all groups and try to find one “open mindedly” that I could see myself going to.  I looked at the paper, read through it twice, and then put it back down.  Maybe I’ll pray about it tonight.

    And that’s what I did.  I asked God to show me what group I was supposed to be in.  I didn’t expect Him to answer right away, but He did anyway.  I’m a very visual person, and He showed me a picture of the cute stick figure logo on the Run for God website (which I had checked out previously).  So, that was my answer.  I said, “Alright, I get it.  I’ll join that group.”  And I’ve been at peace since.  This Sunday I signed up at the Run for God table.  Well, to be honest, my husband signed me up because I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it to church because of my son, but that’s another story.   He signed me up for the Tuesday night meetings before church, and at the end of church I signed myself up for the Saturday morning walk/run.  Now I’m waiting for the student book that I ordered online, and am actually looking forward to the start of the semester.
  
  I could end this by saying, “be careful what you pray for,” but I know that’s not what I need to say.  Just a little friendly reminder that God hears us, and He has a plan for us.  We learned at church recently that we have a journey we’re on.  It’s not a ‘to-do’ list, nor is it a check list.  I took that to heart this Sunday when the associate pastor was talking to us about this, and I know that he’s right.  I knew already that I had been on a journey, one that is bringing me closer to God.  He has been putting things in my path, and it’s up to me to pick them up and add them to my pack as I walk.  He gave me the fast, then the book Made to Crave, and then the Run for God group.  He answered my prayer of having someone (heck, this is a group of someones) to run or walk with on Saturday mornings.  Go figure.  Praise Him for all prayers answered and unanswered, and don’t resist Him when He does answer that one prayer that you maybe could have held off on a little bit longer.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” 
                                                                                -Jeremiah 29:11

    Dear Heavenly Father, I praise You and thank You for all that You have done, for all the prayers that You have answered for me, and for those left unanswered.  Only You know the path I need to take, for You have set it in front of me.  Keep my foot from slipping.  And may all that I do be for the glory of Your great name, and not for me.

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    Imperfect
    Reflections

    "And we, who with unveiled faces all
    reflect the Lord's gory, are transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."
    2 Cor 3:18

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    I am a wife and a mother of four children, a girl (15), and 3 boys (14, 11 and 3).  I am a Christian and attend a local church which I enjoy.  I've learned that nothing matters if it takes you away from your focus on Christ, and the boundaries we set, keeping Him out of certain areas of our lives, are useless.  Christ should be in every thing, and without Him we are nothing and have nothing.

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