I have a confession to make.  It’s really hard to say, but bear with me.  I’m. Not. Perfect.  Pfew!  I’m glad I got that off my chest.  Seriously though, I’m not.  I’m not perfect.  I’m not perfect.  No matter how many times I tell my kids I am (and they just laugh at me) I’m not perfect.  Sorry, that was really just for me, not you.  I have to remind myself that I’m not.  I may have been born in the perfect image of God, but that doesn’t mean I am perfect.  Though it would be nice.   Oh the things I could do if that were true.  I would never have to worry about misunderstanding and doing the wrong thing in front of others – because, well, when you’re perfect everything you do is perfect.  I could take my cello out of the case, sit down, and start playing a beautiful cello concerto instead of accidentally knocking my bridge off and putting it back in its case to wait until I can get it fixed.  Oh, and I would never have broken a guitar string on not one, but two guitars that now remain unplayable until, again, I get them fixed.  I would be given a piece of music and could sing it perfectly the first time on pitch (okay, some people really do have perfect pitch, but I don’t).  Or I could write that novel I want to write in no time flat and have no editing problems.  Because I’d be perfect.

But I’m not perfect. And of course the Bible is very happy to remind me of that.  I can’t read through the book of Proverbs completely without saying, “whoops” more than once.  Here are a few of my “oh so favorites”:

“A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret” (Pr 11:13).  For the record, I’m not part of the gossiping crowd.  But it doesn’t mean I never was.  In fact, when I was in high school I prided myself on being the “gossip queen,” knowing peoples business, though not really airing it beyond my small group of friends.  And just a few years ago I was in a group where it was gossip or sit quietly because it was the only thing I could really think of to talk about; other people’s business.  That is no longer me.  I have left that arena far behind and I’m better for it.

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom” (Pr 11:2).  Pride.  Now there’s a problem I have.  A big one, really.  I have prayed for humility, and I’m working on it, but I still have my issues with it.  I was actually talking with my pastor after church one Sunday and he had told me how I’ve become more humble.  Oops.  Guess my pride really shone through there before that day.  Of course that was a great compliment, especially since I knew it was something to work on and continued to remind myself.  I continue to remind myself of that.  Pride hurts me.  When it shines through I make the wrong choices, and then I regret them later.  But they’re done, and there’s nothing more I can do.  It has even kept me from doing things or saying things that I wanted because it would stand between me and whatever I was facing.  For one thing, if I hear someone recount a story of something that happened to them, I’ll make sure not to have it happen to me because, well, I’d just be copying them and it wouldn’t be real.  Seriously?  Why couldn’t it happen?  Especially if it was a “God thing?”  A lot of people have experiences that are similar, and sometimes we need to read or hear about someone else’s experience to realize that that’s what happening to us right now.

Yes, I have a pride issue, but I’m working on it.  I’m asking God to help me become more humble.

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control” (Pr 29:11).  I’m a fool.  Guilty as charged.  I have had a terrible temper since I was at least a teenager, and there are times when it likes to surface, though I’m happy to announce that it doesn’t show as often as it once had.  I loved my dad, but growing up we didn’t always see eye-to-eye.  It was a habit of ours to have what I would call “swearing fights.”  Who could out-swear the other, and who would win the fight?  Usually I won, but that’s another story.  His temper burned as much as mine, and I don’t think anyone really wanted to be in the house when it was going on.  Oh, my poor mother.  Our relationship got better once I went off to college, and our spats were far and few between, and not as much cursing.

And then I got married.  I love my husband, but there are times when he can drive me completely insane.  I’ve yelled at him, I’ve said terrible things, and I’ve threatened to walk out.  I’ve even used the “D” word a few times.  Can I just say, “Thank you, Lord,” for keeping us together, and now when we fight my temper is a lot more tame.  Sure, I’ll slam cabinet doors, the drawer in the fridge (yeah, a piece of that is broken now), or throw a wet sponge at him in anger, but I no longer threaten to walk out or to divorce him.  I’ve learned a few years ago that I can’t do stuff like that.  The rest of it I still need to work on.  I’m hoping for a day when I can find a better solution to my temper and actually put it into action.   I still have a ways to go with that.  Like I said, I’m not perfect.  But I’m not proud of my temper.  It only serves to hurt me, my husband, and my children.  Thankfully my children see us make up, and we do talk to them about our fights.

“A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult” (Pr 12:16).  I would have to say that this in a way goes along with my temper issues.  Again, something to work on.

Hmm…I should go back into Proverbs and see if Solomon wrote anything on forgetfulness.  The Lord was so great to guide me through this post today.  I said I wasn’t perfect, right?  Today is Tuesday.  All day I kept thinking that it was Monday, though I knew I was going to my mom’s house tonight for my sister’s birthday party.  Tuesday.  The day my daughter has orchestra.  She plays a quarter-size cello and therefore needs to be driven to and from school.  Since he has to go to work anyway my husband drops her off at school for 7:30 in the morning, and then I pick her up around 3:10 in the afternoon.  My cell phone rang at 3:41.  I had completely forgotten to pick her up!  I said I’d be “right there” – it takes about ten to fifteen minutes to get there from home - but when I hung up I realized that my sons were already making their way home on the bus.  Someone would have to be there for them.  My mind reeled.  I could talk to my neighbor about getting the boys while I went to pick up my daughter – she has been a saint when things happen and I need someone to help – or I could, oh, I don’t know.  Then I remembered that my husband had called to tell me he was on his way home.  How long ago was that?  I picked up the phone and called him.  He was at the end of the highway near the town her school is in.  It would take him about the same amount of time (if not less) to get to her school than it would take for me, and this way I could stay home and wait.  Oh, God is good.  See?  I’M NOT PERFECT.  And here’s God telling me that.  So I should stop the tears and just apologize to my daughter for making her wait so long.  Interesting that this would all happen while I’m writing this post.  Thanks for driving the point home, God.

No one is perfect.  This is a world of imperfect people.  We all have our follies, our “fool’s way,” but it doesn’t mean we can’t work at being better.  When Solomon wrote his “woe to you” speeches, he didn’t leave it at that.  He told us how we should be. 

“A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.”  Be trustworthy.

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”  Be humble.

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”  Exhibit self-control.

“A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.”  Don’t take a fools words personally.

If we look to how we should act, we can correct how we do act.  Then we’ll no longer be fools.  I know what I have to work on.  Seek for yourself what areas you need help with, and ask God for His perfect help.

Dear Lord, I pray that you help us all with those places that are not pleasing to you.  Point them out to us, and show us how to change.  We want to do all things for You.

Despite the cold weather – it was 15 degrees out and snowing – I felt motivated enough to walk around my neighborhood.  I’ve been exercising for the past week, and I’ve been hurting.  The “new to exercise” soreness that I’m not a stranger to since I’ve started this type of thing a few times.  Because I knew it would pass, I pushed on, though I constantly prayed that the Lord would take the pain away quickly.  “At least by Friday since I have to volunteer at my son’s school.”  It hurt to walk, and it hurt even more to sit down or stand up.

But this day I kept pushing on.  I had i-heart radio playing K-LOVE on my phone, so I was all set with Christian music and inspiration.  I also continued to talk with God, my own little private time.

Now, my idea was to walk to the fork in the road, take a left, and then see how far I went – whether I turned down the first street for a shorter walk or kept going to make it a longer one would be decided in time.  There was a route I would work up to, once the warmer days of Spring or Summer came, but until then I was going to leave that alone.  As I walked along the road, heading toward the fork, I tried to push aside a “little voice” telling me to continue on.  It was telling me to go beyond this fork and walk to the road I wanted to go to when it was warm.  I didn’t want to do it, but I realized who was telling me this and decided not to fight it.  I knew that if I turned when I wanted to that I wouldn’t feel right about it.  A blatant disobeying.

So, when I reached that fork I continued on.  It was cold, but I was kept warm most of the way.  I reached that road and then I heard, “turn around.”  It didn’t feel right, and though I would have loved to, I turned down the street and continued on.  That felt right.  Down that road, then left to follow the next.  The next question was which road do I travel next?  Cut the walk short, or go all the way and make a full five mile walk?  I waited for the Lord to direct my steps.  I put my trust in Him, and let Him guide me.  As I got closer to the first road I heard, “go this way.”  Not knowing if it were true or if it was just me saying it, I asked.  “Is that you or is it me?”  “It’s me,” I heard, so I turned.  As I was walking down the road, my legs still sore from being used more than they had for a long time, Mandisa’s song “Stronger” came on and I had to laugh.  I know that it’s not about physical weakness and pain, but at that moment that’s exactly what it was for me.

“When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me, this is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger”

All I kept thinking was that yes, I was hurting now, but if I continued the pain would go away.  And I knew that I was working to become stronger.  Stronger physically, and also stronger spiritually.  In my journey to a healthier me I am working on my walk with Him, and here He was telling me that if I kept going I would be stronger.  He was going to be with me all along the way.  He just had a sense of humor about it.

This also reminds me of a verse I tend to repeat throughout my thirty minutes of exercise each morning: “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).  It seems to help, especially through the really difficult parts, and I truly believe it when I say it.

We need to remember that no matter what we’re going through – whether physical, mental, or spiritual- that we rely on Him to strengthen us.

Dear Lord, thank you for giving me your strength, for showing me that if I just rely on you no matter how hard things may get you will make me stronger.

What is wrong with this world?  Why do these tragedies have to continue?  Why do we have to put up with it?  And, Jesus, WHY do these people have to remain on the face of the earth?

Life on the earth, I feel, would be far easier if all the evil were gone.  Nothing remaining.  Just happy go lucky people, serving and praising God.  There would be no senseless killings, no kidnapping, no hurting.  We would no longer be scared.  We could sit back, relax, and enjoy the life we have here on this earth until we are called up to heaven.  And everyone would be called up there if there was no evil driving people to turn from God.

After the tragedy in Connecticut at Sandy Hook Elementary I was devastated.  That day I had just been in my son’s Kindergarten class as I volunteer there every Friday.  I also volunteer every Friday for what’s known as Caring Kids Club, where two kids from each class are picked each week to participate because they have been caught being “caring kids.”  These are Kindergartners and first graders.  I heard the news and my mind immediately went to the school I was at not all that long ago.  Devastating.

And then it was time for their funerals.  Heart wrenching, but what made it worse was the fact that Westboro Baptist Church was protesting their funerals.  These were people who had done nothing worth protesting.  They were attending school, they were teaching, they were trying their best to protect the lives of the little ones.  Why would these people come all the way to Connecticut to protest?  There was even talk about them coming to my home turf to protest funerals of firemen who were taken down by a sniper during a house fire that said sniper had purposely caused to draw them out.  I call this group a hate group.  There is no love.  They are working for the wrong side, and I don’t think they even realize it.  They have been blinded.  They have forgotten what they’re protesting.

It was because of the protest of the funerals in Connecticut that made me cry out to God and ask “Why?”  WHY are there people like this in the world?  Why do people have to hate?  Why do people have to kill?  Why can’t they just go away?  God has the power over life and death.  Why can’t He just get rid of them all?

And then I opened up my Bible.  That night’s reading was Matthew 13, and in that reading was the Parable of the Weeds, verses 24-30.  God spelled out the answer right then and there.  This parable is about a man sowing good seed in his field, “but while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat” (v.25).  So, in this field, that was originally planned for good crops, both good and bad grew.  Good and evil.

vv.27-28: “The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field?  Where then did the weeds come from?”

“’And enemy did this,’ he replied.

“The servants asked him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’”

See?  Even they wanted to get rid of what was bad.  Why can’t we just pull them up?  It doesn’t make sense to let them stay here.  Or does it?

V.29:  “’No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them.’”

Oh.  So, let me get this right.  If we purge this world of all the “bad people” some of the good may be caught up in it?  Hmm…so because of this whole Salvation thing, there’s still a chance for those who are doing wrong to turn before their time comes?  It’s true that Satan has his workers.  There’s no two ways about that.  “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire.  He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding the truth, for there is no truth in him.  When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44).

But he also tries to get others to go along with his plans, those who have been called by God but have yet to answer.  “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners” (Mark 2:17).  And weren’t we all there at one point?  We were all sinners until we asked for forgiveness and asked Jesus into our hearts.  And for those who have not done this yet, God has made time for it to happen.  People would completely miss their opportunity to change if the world was “cleansed” prematurely.  Okay.  So, basically, God is telling us that we need to recognize that, yes, there is evil in this world (we should never turn a blind eye to it), and that we need to continue to do as we have been taught.  We need to pray for the lost, and we need to witness.    

If we stayed in our homes, locked away with our families in a hidden closet, frightened of what is out there, praying that God just takes away the evil so we could come back out, we would be ignoring our part in this life.

The finale?

v.30: “’Let both grow together until the harvest.  At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’”

God is our judge.  As promised He will separate the good from the evil when the time finally comes to do so, and because He is perfect He will not make mistakes.  At that time, those who have accepted His son, thereby accepting Him, will go on to life everlasting.  Those who do the work of the devil until the last day will descend to be with him.

But for now, we need to do the Lord’s work.  He loves it each time a lost sheep is found, every time a prodigal son returns.

Dear heavenly Father, help us not to get caught up with the evils of the world.  Help us to remember that we were once lost, and by Your grace we have been found.  Help us to be a reflection of you.

    I love the song by Garth Brooks called “Unanswered Prayers.”  It makes you think about your life and wonder what it would have been like if God DID answer that prayer.  “Lord, please let me marry someone rich and famous, or even just a wealthy doctor or lawyer.  You know how expensive my taste is.”  Or, “Lord, this is how I would like my life to play out.  Please make it happen.”  But He gives you something else instead.  The chorus of the song goes like this:

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

    I do thank Him for the unanswered prayer for a marriage partner.  Yes, my father always told me to marry rich because of my expensive taste, but God introduced me to a chemist who, though the title sounds like it would be great, doesn’t see nearly as much salary as I had hoped for.  But I’m in love with him, and he’s a huge reason I’ve become so close to God.  He’s truly helped me in my faith walk, and he's my best friend.  We have three beautiful children together, a house in what I call “suburbia in the country,” aka. a housing development in a rural town with a cornfield at the end of the street, good schools, a great church, and the list goes on.  Thank you, Lord, for that unanswered prayer.

Oh, but this isn’t about unanswered prayers.  Nope.  This post is about an answered prayer that, well, I really didn’t want answered.  Or maybe I did, but I think He answered too quickly for me.  Yeah, maybe that’s it.  Anyway, let me start from the beginning, or at least a beginning.

    In January 2009 I decided that I was just too fat.  The scale read the numbers I never fathomed I would be reading on a scale.  I had three kids, no exercise regimen, and poor eating habits.  I was over 200 pounds.  214 to be exact.  Not cool.  In an online forum-based mom’s group I was a member of at that time a new forum called “Biggest Loser” was created.  It was based on the popular TV show of the same name, and anyone in the group who wanted to take part in this private forum could do so.  We shared recipes, gave each other exercise and eating tips, and really motivated each other.  Through that group I was introduced to an exercise program I could do on my Wii, and I fell in love with a healthy living website called SparkPeople (www.sparkpeople.com).  By April I had lost 40 pounds.  I dropped from a size 20/22 pants to a size 14, and my next goal was a size 12.  I loved the way I was starting to look in the mirror.  I could smile at my reflection.  I was happy, and my mood and my energy were far better than they had been.

    Then May hit.  On May 3rd my father died suddenly of a massive heart attack on the 4th green at his favorite 9 hole golf course.  Following his death I became addicted to coffee.  No, not just coffee.  Specialty coffee.  Oh so yummy sugar and fat filled coffees found a McDonalds and Starbucks (I hadn’t yet started my love for Tim Hortons).  I would make any excuse to stop.  I was so bad that when I would drive home from my mom’s or the mall (two towns over) I would pull into the McDonalds parking lot that just so happened to be on my way, pull up to the drive-thru, and order a medium mocha.  Sometimes a large, never a small.  If my kids were in the car I’d feel bad, so I would ask if they wanted chicken nuggets.  Way to go mom!  Yes!  Yeah…..

    So my fattening coffee addiction was under way.  Then, in September my five-year-old son was diagnosed with cancer.  We lived in the hospital for the first month, eating oh so healthy hospital food.  Oh, and in the lobby?  My now favorite coffee of all time:  Finger Lakes Coffee Roasters.  I had such wonderful friends through my mommy group, and they bestowed upon me little gift certificates and a punch card for the coffee stand in the lobby.  Or the one near the green elevators.  Didn’t matter, they were both the same.  And of course his treatments took three months to fully finish, plus every other month for a while after we had to go back for CTs and blood work.  I looked forward to those visits.  Mmmm….  Yes, bad mom.

    Needless to say, my healthy eating habits deteriorated.  I still made healthy meals at times, but too often we were eating pizza, Chinese take-out, eating out at different restaurants (I don’t need to tell you what that did to our finances), and stopping through the drive-thrus.  Oh how I watched for Starbucks drive-thrus on our way to different vacation spots.  I would have to come up with an excuse, typically, “I’m tired because of traveling and really need a pick-me-up.”  My husband knew better, and more than once he just kept on driving.  Good boy.

    So where is this long winded story going?  It’s going to get even longer.

    I’ve tried, and failed, to get back into the eating right and exercising routine.  I have put my 14s on hold for a while and have been praying that I don’t go above 16.  I’m holding steady, but those 16s have started to get a little tight.  Not good.  It doesn’t help that I would sit on the couch all day (not every day, but once or twice a week when I decided to have a lazy day) and watch about 5 episodes of a K-drama.  K-dramas are dramas from Korea, spoken in Korean with English subtitles.  Hey, I was getting some reading done!  Did I forget to mention that each episode was about 1 hour and 15 minutes long?  I’m not proud of that, I admit it.  So my whole day was wasted on the lives of made up characters in a country halfway around the world, wishing I had a life like they did.  All this while eating a tub of hummus with pretzel chips or pita chips (it’s healthy, right?).

    Yeah, I probably knew I was gaining weight, but I didn’t care.  Until I did.  In my church the new year always starts off with a 21 day fast.  My husband and I tried the Daniel Fast one year, decided it was too costly to do in the winter time, and gave up.  That was two years ago.  Last year I was bound and determined to do some fast, but I don’t even think I made it two days.  This year I made a more realistic goal for myself, and I’ve been doing well.  I allow myself only one cup of coffee a day, and not the specialty kind.  One cup (in the morning) from my Keurig, and I can only put skim milk and sugar (or Splenda) in it.  No International Delight creamers.  I’m learning to drink tea now, and I don’t allow myself to put anything in it.  I don’t snack in between meals unless I really need something because time between lunch and dinner is extended for some reason, but only a healthy snack (a truly healthy one) is allowed.  I don’t play games on my phone, and I don’t watch anime or K-dramas.  And you know what?  I feel amazing!  I’m reading my Bible still, making healthier decisions for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I’m reading “Made to Crave” by Lysa Terkeurst (http://madetocrave.org/).  LOVE that book.  If you’re looking for a way to make your body healthier while at the same time drawing closer to God, this book is the one to go to.

    So what does this have to do with answered prayers?  Well, since I started reading Lysa’s book I’ve been more motivated.  I wanted to start slow, and that’s what I did.  I started just with eating better.  Exercise would come shortly.  I started officially exercising (oh, who am I kidding, I started exercising) this past Friday, but I knew it was coming.  Lysa had written in her book about finding a friend to be accountable to, and even to exercise with.  Well, I don’t really have anyone like that, so that wasn’t an easy chapter for me to read.  But, I took it to God, and I asked that He put someone in my life whom I could do this with.  More to the point, I had, back in 2010, taken a running class with a friend through a fitness store, and the “graduation” was a 5k.  My first and only.  I had actually enjoyed getting up early on Saturdays to run with the group.  Unfortunately, it was just too much to keep driving the distance I had to to do this, and my friend lives just as far.  I just wanted something close by, someone to run, or even walk, with.

    Small groups!  Our church has two semesters each year of small groups, and this past Fall they tried something new.  Instead of going to your normal “Life group” as they had been called, you now got to see what each group was offering that semester by way of content, and you could decide what you wanted to do.  In Fall it was fairly easy.  It was a tossup between the book of Ruth or C.S. Lewis’ book The Screw Tape Letters.  My husband and I opted for Ruth, and it was great.  This semester, however, I wasn’t so thrilled about the picks.  It wasn’t a matter of, “which one should I choose,” but a matter of, “I hate them all.  I don’t want to do any of them.  Couldn’t someone have picked something good?”

    Wow.  If anyone is reading this who actually is a leader of one of those groups, please don’t take offense.  It’s not you.  It’s me.  I knew that there were quite a few there that I would have loved to have done, but because I was being led in a direction I didn’t want to go, nothing looked appealing.  One of those groups was called Run for God (through www.runforgod.com).  The group will meet on Tuesday nights, and there’s an optional Saturday morning run/walk.  Nope.  Not gonna do it.  My husband is doing the men’s group on Tuesday night, and we wanted to do our groups on different nights so the kids didn’t have to go out.  Yeah, so what if the leaders house is right across the street from the street my kids’ friends live on?  Nope.  Not doing it.  I’m not getting up early on a Saturday.  I LIKE sleeping in on Saturdays.  Nope.  Not gonna do it.  I was so mad and practically in tears as I was talking to my husband about how terrible the picks were this time around for groups.  I told him that maybe this was God’s way of telling me to take a semester off.  But then I could see myself sitting in church, my pastor praising the small groups and asking who was already in one.  I could see my husband’s hand go up, but not my own, and I knew I’d be missing out on something.  OK.  So then, what do I pick?  I decided I would look through the paper again with the descriptions of all groups and try to find one “open mindedly” that I could see myself going to.  I looked at the paper, read through it twice, and then put it back down.  Maybe I’ll pray about it tonight.

    And that’s what I did.  I asked God to show me what group I was supposed to be in.  I didn’t expect Him to answer right away, but He did anyway.  I’m a very visual person, and He showed me a picture of the cute stick figure logo on the Run for God website (which I had checked out previously).  So, that was my answer.  I said, “Alright, I get it.  I’ll join that group.”  And I’ve been at peace since.  This Sunday I signed up at the Run for God table.  Well, to be honest, my husband signed me up because I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it to church because of my son, but that’s another story.   He signed me up for the Tuesday night meetings before church, and at the end of church I signed myself up for the Saturday morning walk/run.  Now I’m waiting for the student book that I ordered online, and am actually looking forward to the start of the semester.
  
  I could end this by saying, “be careful what you pray for,” but I know that’s not what I need to say.  Just a little friendly reminder that God hears us, and He has a plan for us.  We learned at church recently that we have a journey we’re on.  It’s not a ‘to-do’ list, nor is it a check list.  I took that to heart this Sunday when the associate pastor was talking to us about this, and I know that he’s right.  I knew already that I had been on a journey, one that is bringing me closer to God.  He has been putting things in my path, and it’s up to me to pick them up and add them to my pack as I walk.  He gave me the fast, then the book Made to Crave, and then the Run for God group.  He answered my prayer of having someone (heck, this is a group of someones) to run or walk with on Saturday mornings.  Go figure.  Praise Him for all prayers answered and unanswered, and don’t resist Him when He does answer that one prayer that you maybe could have held off on a little bit longer.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” 
                                                                                -Jeremiah 29:11

    Dear Heavenly Father, I praise You and thank You for all that You have done, for all the prayers that You have answered for me, and for those left unanswered.  Only You know the path I need to take, for You have set it in front of me.  Keep my foot from slipping.  And may all that I do be for the glory of Your great name, and not for me.

    For far too long I have abandoned this blog.  I have let useless things take me away from what I have set out to do.  With the dropping of this blog I also dropped my Bible reading.  My mood went into a down swing, and I feel that I came close to depression.  Not a good feeling.  I let my love for all things electronic consume my life.  I used to take notes as I read my Bible, dating each day, and when I look back at my notes the last I can find were from March 18th, 2012.  I had abandoned everything.  And, though I continued to attend church regularly, I had almost abandoned Him, letting Him down.  No longer was He my main focus.  Animes, K-dramas, Wii games, and networking became my focus.
    I've had this post thought for a long time now (right down to the title), but I still kept pushing it off.  Why?  I didn't want to admit I had fallen.  My foot had slipped because I had tossed my Bible and my prayer time aside.  I didn't want to admit that to you, to me, or to Him (though we all know He already knew).  I kept making excuses why I couldn't restart this blog 'just yet.'  "My laptop no longer works and I really don't want to work downstairs on the desktop."  "I don't feel it's the right time."  I would get an idea for a post while driving, but by the time I got home I didn't feel like writing it.  "Must not have been meant to be."  Hahahaha!  How foolish.
   But now I'm back.  I'm starting new, starting afresh.  After all, He makes all things new.  With Him there's always a way back, and He will always welcome us back into His arm whenever we go to Him.  That's what He wants.  That's what He rejoices over.  The one lost lamb though 99 stay by His side.  I'm back to reading my Bible daily, even if it's just a Psalm or the next chapter in the Old Testament (my typical reading is a chapter in the OT, a chapter in the NT -I'm working chronologically there, a psalm or two and a chapter of Proverbs).  My notes now date starting November 2nd, 2012, and, yes, I have missed a week of reading (and I started crashing again), but otherwise I have been looking forward to my readings.  I don't want to slip again.  I love what I learn, and I love how close I feel to God daily.
    So, with this, I begin again.  Have faith in me and keep reading!