I can.  Two simple words that flashed a few times on the TV screen at the first small church group meeting of the semester.  The video we watched was an introductory video for Run for God, and the focus was on the Hoyts, a father/son team who are well known in the racing field.  According to their website,* Rick, the son, was diagnosed as a spastic quadriplegic with cerebral palsy as a result of oxygen deprivation to his brain at the time of his birth.  Their story is an amazing one.  The father, Dick, began running when Rick told him of a race for the physically disabled.  Now Dick runs marathons, triathlons, and even the Iron Man while pushing or pulling Rick right along with him.  Through their amazing efforts they are a prime example of “I can.”

I can’t.  Two words that don’t go well together when we’re called to do something.  I can’t.  An excuse.  Each year for ten years since the age of 13 I attended a weekend-long retreat with my church’s teen choir – later it became a full youth weekend.  Somehow I had always remembered the date, October 10th, but I could not for the life of me remember the year until I came across the packet for this one particular retreat, my first as an adult staff member.  It was 1997, and on that October day over Columbus Day weekend we held a funeral for “I Can’t.”  Seriously!  Someone made a tombstone out of cardboard or whatever, and wrote “I Can’t died October 10th, 1997.” This went along with a session talking about how we should never say, “I can’t,” but rather, “I’ll try.”  What a difference that one word change makes.  It takes us from completely giving up on ourselves before even trying, to actually giving it a try.  “I’ll try” doesn’t mean we’ll succeed, but it calls us to action, and for that we are able to be proud that we did try no matter what, and because we tried we glorify God.  How awesome does that sound?

Dick Hoyt never thought that he would be running races, competing time and time again, but when he was called he took the challenge, and he and his son Rick have become an inspiration to the world.  They emulate the “I can” spirit.

Today, hold your own funeral for “I Can’t.”  Say goodbye to it forever, and from now on start using the words, “I’ll try.”  No matter what challenge it may be.  It may be a physical challenge such as getting up and exercising, training for that race that you never even dreamed you would run, hiking that mountain you’ve loved looking at but never thought you would climb.  It could be something related to a job, whether paid or volunteer.  It could even be something as “simple” as talking to a person you’ve seen around but have never had the courage to talk to.  Whatever call you may be receiving, try putting “I’ll try” as your response instead of “I can’t,” and see where you go.

“I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” ~Philippians 4:13 (emphasis mine)

Dear Heavenly Father, I just want to thank You for giving us all the phrase, “I can,” and showing us that, if we fix our eyes on You, if we trust in You, You will give us the strength to carry it out.  Help us to say, “I can’t,” no longer. May our “I’ll try” turn into “I can,” and then become, “I did.”

* http://www.teamhoyt.com/index.html

I was standing in church this morning, singing and praising God as we do during the first part of service, and one of the songs really touched me.  “Oh, Your cross, it changes everything.  There my life begins again with You.  Oh, Your cross, it’s where my hope restarts.  A second chance is Heaven’s heart.”  Another part of that song reads, “Countless second chances we’ve been given at the cross.”  Such beautiful lyrics.  It brought my mind back to where I was, and the “countless chances” I've been given.  It’s His cross where my life changed; changed for the better.  He gave me this hope.  Nothing I do should be without Him.  Then the next song began, and as I was singing along I found myself praying during the breaks.  I don’t even remember what song it was now, but what I prayed was that God forgave me for being distant these past few weeks, and then I told Him that He alone deserves glory, that He deserves all praise, and that He alone is good.  I told Him that I didn’t want to do anything unless it glorified Him.  I told Him that I knew I shouldn’t seek glory and praise for myself, but for Him.  In everything I do it should be to praise God, and to teach about Him.  In everything I do I want people to see God.

A Scripture verse I’ve come to love this week is Psalm 73:26.  It reads, “My heart and flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”  He is the one who gives me strength.  He is the one who gives me all that I have, and without Him I have nothing.  All that I do, all that I seek to do, should honor and glorify Him.  He’s the one who deserves the praise for what I do, not me.

Recently I had been offered a volunteer position for a website.  It’s a “traveling with kids” website where people write reviews of different places they’ve been to, to help other parents decide whether or not they want to take their kids.  It’s a great resource, and I was asked to head up assignments in New York State.  At first I was afraid because of my fear of phones and communication,  but I decided to push through and really give it some thought and prayer.  I didn’t want to brush it off so quickly.  Unfortunately, though, I felt like I was pushing God away, though I prayed for a decision.  What I realized right before I emailed the one in charge of this with a “no” was that what had kept me from saying no until that point was the fact that I would have loved to see my name and picture up with the rest of volunteers who do this same thing in other states.  That was my big draw.  Sure, it might be fun, and it would be a big help to the site, but I wanted to see my name up there.  I wanted to be recognized.  When I received an email detailing what was involved, I knew it was just too much for me to handle with everything else in my life right now.  I had to look at my priorities and there was no place for this.  I told my husband that it was pride that had been keeping me from saying no as he had watched me struggle with a decision.

I used to sing with my church when I was a teenager up through my early twenties.  I love to sing, and this was one of my favorite things to do.  But as the years passed I realized that I wasn’t singing to glorify God, but myself.  I reveled in people coming up to me and thanking me for a solo I sang, telling me how beautiful my voice was.  Oh how great that felt.  I would get upset with myself if I didn’t do a great job with this song or that, and I would wait to see if anyone would praise me the Sunday mornings I felt I did superb job.  As I entered into my later twenties my husband and I ended up at a different church, but I would skip a Sunday here and there to head back to my old church whenever my dad asked if I wanted to sing with him – he would cantor certain Sundays, and I loved to sing with him, but again I was looking for praise since we always chose such wonderful duets to sing together.  It was all about me.

I still find myself at times looking for praise for myself, which is why this morning was so perfect.  I was reminded that I have to focus on giving Him glory.  I want to write to teach about God, to bring people to Him.  When I sing, I want it to be giving praise to Him and only Him.  This is true with anything I do in my life.  I just need to remember this.

2 Corinthians 4:5-6 says this:  “For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants of Jesus’ sake.  For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.”  It’s not for ourselves, but for Him.  We need to be humble servants, seeking praise and glory only for Him.  This is what we are called to do.  This is what He gives us when we come to Him.  When we humble ourselves and allow Him to guide our actions everything will be where it should.

In Psalm 34, verses 1-3 David writes, “I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips.  My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.  Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together.”  Interestingly enough this was one of the psalms I used to sing at church.  The answer was right in front of me the whole time, but I never saw it.  I love what David says in verse five, just two verses later.  He says, “Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.”  When we seek to glorify God and not ourselves, His light makes us radiant.  When people see us ,God shines through.  Because we make Him the focus, give Him all credit, we will never be shamed.  Oh how good that feels!  I’m giddy just thinking about that.

So, let’s not seek praise for ourselves, but for Him, and Him alone.  Let us seek out His glory.  Let us be humble servants, never taking praise for ourselves.

Lord God, thank you for showing me that all praise, glory and honor goes to You, and when I give it to You, You will make me shine with Your light; my face will never be covered in shame.

In Psalm 69, verses 1-3, David cries:

“Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck.  I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold.  I have come into the deep waters; the floods engulf me.  I am worn out calling for help; my throat is parched.  My eyes fail, looking for my God.”

The night I read those verses I was exhausted.  I knew that I couldn’t go to sleep without first cracking open my Bible and reading at least a Psalm or two.  And this is the Psalm I read.  As I read it I felt as if it were me calling out.  This is how I felt, though before I read this I couldn’t describe it.  I felt like I was drowning.  I felt overwhelmed, and I was slipping.  I’ve been working hard, and thanking God for everything He has allowed in my life, but there seemed to be something holding me back, something trying to get in the way.  It’s not gone yet, but I am made aware of it, and I need to put all of my trust on Him who created all things.  He will get me out of the depths that I feel I am sinking into.

If I just grab hold of His life raft I can be free.  What I need to remember, though, is that this is a time of testing.  This morning I did devotions with my daughter before sending her on her way to Chess Club at school.  Today’s devotion was about dark days verses light days.  During our light days everything goes well, and we feel like we’re on cloud nine.  The devotion says that His Light mixes with ours.  But on those dark days, those days where nothing seems to be going right, that’s when we need to make sure to seek His Light.  The devotion says that that’s when God is testing us, training us to seek His Light.  It’s those dark days where we feel most vulnerable.  All we need to do is turn to Him.

The chorus from Casting Crowns’ song, “I’ll Praise You in This Storm” just came to my mind:

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

That’s exactly what I’m talking about.  We need to praise Him not only when our times are good, but also when they are bad.  We need to remember that He is good, and each storm that passes is a way to make us stronger.  He wants us to cry out to Him.  We should not be too proud to admit when we feel like we are sinking (yes, that’s a huge problem for me, which is why I’m just now writing this).  He is there to lift us up; all we need to do is cry out, lift up our hands, and praise the Lord God Almighty because He will never leave our side.

Instead of embracing what could be his fate, David asks God to save him.  In verses 14-17 he says:

“Rescue me from the mire, do not let me sink; deliver me from those who hate me, from the deep waters.  Do not let the floodwaters engulf me or the depths swallow me up or the pit close its mouth over me.  Answer me, O Lord, out of the goodness of your love; in your great mercy turn to me.  Do not hide your face from your servant; answer me quickly, for I am in trouble.”

We should learn by David’s example.  He wasn’t too proud to call out when he was in trouble, and he called out to the only One who could really help him.  There is no problem too great for God, and even if we slip, He will grab hold of us.  All we need to do is ask.  He is always with us, and He will never forsake us.

Dear Lord Jesus, I praise You in good times and in bad, for You are always good.  Help me to remember that no matter how far I feel I may slip, how deep the waters around me, You will always be there to pick me up.  Thank you, Lord God.

My daughter is not a big fan of quiche.  Okay, to be honest, she hates it.  At least she says she does.  Each week my kids get to pick a meal that they’ll help me cook (they look through my cookbooks and cooking magazines), and one night last week my youngest son chose the “ever popular” quiche.   Oh so good; it’s one of my favorites.  My daughter protested before the day even came.  That night we were in a bit of a hurry because she had to get to her swimming class, and she claimed that her stomach was bothering her so she stayed away from the table for a little bit.  No time to eat.  Hmm….  Before we left for swimming she promised she would eat it for breakfast the next morning (after all, it is a breakfast dish!)

The next morning I warmed up the quiche and placed it down in front of her.  She looked at it.  She did not want to touch it.  There were pancakes left over from my husband’s breakfast, and she eyed those.  We told her she could have them after she ate this one small pie shaped piece of quiche.  She threw a fit, and continued to tell us, “Quiche makes me sick” – which it doesn’t.  Finally, after yelling and tears, she took a tiny bite, if you could call it that.  She began to gag.  And I began to get even more angry.  Needless to say, she finished the quiche, did not have the pancakes, and missed her bus in the process because she didn’t get moving.  It was not the best morning.

This isn’t the first fight we’ve had over food.  One stuffed mushroom which she really didn’t like has been the bane of the dinner table before, and she really did not like that.  Another dish has also played a part in this that, after all the fights, the grounding, and the serving it to her for dinner and breakfast until it was gone, she realized she actually liked.  Of course, because she had convinced herself that she wasn’t going to like it, it took a while to break through her pride and get her to admit that she really did.

There’s a story about my husband when he was a child.  He hated salmon, and he had told me that it used to make him throw up.  I enlightened him by telling him that it wasn’t the salmon that made him throw up, it was his temper tantrum and the fact that he convinced himself it would do so.  He sees that now, and though he still doesn’t like fish of any type save for shrimp, he eats it without incident.

This is what happens when we tell ourselves what the outcome will be before it actually happens.  “I’m not going to like this.”  “This will make me sick.”  “It won’t turn out well, so there’s no point in trying.”  There are hundreds of thousands of excuses out there that we cling to so that we can get out of the things that are not pleasing to us.

I don’t like phones.  I admit, I hate talking on the phone.  In my life there have been only a select few people who I’ve actually enjoyed talking to on the phone, and with them I could talk forever about nothing and I loved it.  But otherwise, I hate phones.  Calling to make appointments makes me anxious.  It takes me forever to get to it (when my husband refuses to do it for me), and I have to prepare.  I write down who I’m calling, the phone number, who I’m making the appointment for, and any other information I may need at the time.  I rehearse in my head what I’m going to say when someone at the other end answers.  Yes, I suffer from this.  It’s something I need to work on.  When I worked at Babies R Us I was the one who would place calls in the morning letting people know the furniture they had ordered was in and ready to be picked up.  I would double check who I was calling, dial, and while I listened to the ringing of their phone I would pray that that it was their answering machine so I could just leave a quick message.  That didn’t always work.

So it’s really no surprise that when I was asked to play a bigger role for a traveling with kids website- I’ve been a member for a few years and love writing reviews- recently that I freaked out.  It sounds like it would be fun; I’d have to find businesses where someone from the site could go (free of charge) and write a review about their time there.  That place would take care of all or most of the expenses.  Both the establishment and the one chosen to go would have to go through me.  When I told my husband about it he said, “You’ll probably have to have use the phone and you know how you are with phones.”  Big blow.  I do know how bad I am, how anxious I get around them (can I just say I love caller ID and my answering machine?).  My husband was giving up on me before I had a chance.  I was sick with worry from that point on, and I was going to tell them that I wasn’t interested.  But I wasn’t ready to say no just yet.  I don’t know why.  Instead I told the woman I was in contact with that I would like to hear more about it, and we agreed that she would call me this week (yes, the phone.  Joy).  I’ll make my decision after that.  Who knows.  Maybe this will be a good opportunity for me.  Maybe this is God’s way of getting me out of my comfort zone.  The day this all happened I wrote on as my Facebook status: “I like my comfort zone, thank you very much.”  And it’s true.  I don’t want to do anything that goes beyond that.

But God tries to get us out of our comfort zones to do His will.  As it is, it’s not easy being a Christian in a fallen world.  We’re called to go against the grain, and that’s not an easy feat.  But we can’t make excuses for not doing something whether it’s eating, working, volunteering, or just helping someone out.  If it exceeds our area of comfort, we need to seek Him to help us out.  More than likely He’s the one telling us that we need to do this.  I have heard so many excuses, “I can’t do it,” “That’s just not me,” “I’m too old,”  “I’m too young,” “It’s not my forte,” and so on.  Fear, pride, age, time, money, they all tend to weasel their way into our lives, giving us an “out.”  We can excuse ourselves to death if we try hard enough.

What would this world look like if Mary had said, “Yeah, great.  I don’t think I can do that.  I’m too afraid of what my parents and Joseph’s parents would say, not to mention Joseph himself.  Besides, I’m too young.  Why don’t you find someone a little older than me?”  Savior of the world?  Where would He be?

Or what if Jesus had given up on Peter when he got out of the boat and tried to walk to Jesus on the water?  “Well boy, you blew that one.  Maybe you shouldn’t have come out here since your faith is so weak.”  I don’t see Jesus saying that.

We can even look at King David’s life.  He was called up a couple of times.  “Hey David, slay this giant for us, okay?”  “Yeah, thanks, but I think I’ll pass.  I’m just a shepherd, the youngest of my brothers, and by no means the largest.  I’ll just stay here in the field.  Thanks anyway.”  Or, “You will be the next king.”  “Wow, that sounds so great, but I’m happy where I am. No one will want to listen to me, and I know I’m not cut out to be a king.  If I were I would not have been born the way I was.  Let someone else take it from here.”

“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”  This is the message Jesus taught us in Matthew 19:26.  So if we set our fears, our worries, on Him and learn to trust Him, He will lead us through.  Maybe we’ll find that we weren’t meant to do what we thought we were being called to at that moment.  Maybe it was actually leading us somewhere else.  Or maybe we were called, and as scary as it may be, we should embrace it with God’s help and be the best we could be.  It’s a growth process.  Learning to trust the Lord will help us grow in Him, and we will be able to do things we have convinced ourselves we can’t do.

I’m still not sure what my answer will be to the position, but I’ve been praying about it, seeking His answer to the question of whether or not this is what I’m being called to.  My daughter will, bless her heart, still complain about the foods she swears up and down she does not like whether she has tried it or not, but I know one day she’ll start trying new things and realize just how much she does like.  I know that from experience with myself and my change in attitude toward food over the years.

What have you been struggling with, telling yourself that you can’t do for reasons that seem perfectly logical to you?  Bring them all to Jesus.

Lord, I just thank You for promising to always be there for us when we need you, knowing that You are always by our side.  Remind us daily to bring our cares to You, Lord, and help us to trust in You so we may be able to step out of the comfort zone that we have created for ourselves.  You did not create that for us, for You want so much more.