As I go about my days, driving to my kids’ schools to volunteer, heading to the grocery store, cleaning, relaxing, going about my day-to-day life, I can see the face of God smiling at me, patiently waiting for me to remember Him.  He’s not angry.  He knows me, and He knows I’ll return to Him.  The problem is, because I know this, I can keep Him pushed away for a while longer.  Because I know He’s there, patiently waiting for me to return, to fall to my knees and pray, to pray like I’ve never prayed before, to sing songs to Him, to talk to Him, to read His Word, to read what others write about Him, I know that I’m okay and will eventually get it without inciting His wrath and fury.

But how does that help me?  It doesn’t.  What am I doing?  I’m pushing away the One who gave me life, who created me in His image, who sent His Son to die for me.  The One who loves me and will never stop loving me.  Why am I doing this?  Selfishness.  I have other things to do.  I’m busy.  I’m too tried.  I want to do something else right now.  Fear.  I don’t want to hear what He has to tell me.  What will He make me do?  What will He make me give up this time?  Will He make me leave my comfort zone again?  I really hate that.  Doubt.  Am I really hearing from Him?  IS this Him, or is it just me?  Am I making this whole thing up?  Is this really what God wants me to do?  Am I really hearing from Him, or am I just so impatient that I come up with my own answers?

So why bother?  But yet He’s there for me.  I still see His face, kind, loving, smiling. Looking at me; waiting for me to return.  God is a God of action, yet while He’s making blind men see and lame men walk, He’s sitting back, patiently waiting for me.

It’s my time to return.  Again.  And again. And again.  A constant cycle, one that tends to repeat in my life.  Yet, I know he’s not angry.  He’s not mad.  He’s just smiling at me, waiting for me to return again.

Dear Lord Jesus, I’m sorry for making you wait for me.  Again.  I’m sorry for continuing this cycle.  I know that you love me, and that you will never leave me, and I am so very thankful for that.  Your patience is unending, you love never fails. Grant me the mercy that you so graciously bestow, and allow me to walk by your side again.  I love you.

Amen.

Matthew 22:1-14: The Parable of the Wedding Banquet

Jesus spoke to them again in parables, saying: “The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son.  He sent his servants to those who had been invited to the banquet tell them to come, but they refused to come.
    “Then he sent some more servants and said, ‘Tell those who have been invited that I have prepared my dinner: My oxen and fattened cattle have been butchered, and everything is ready.  Come to the wedding banquet.’
    “But they paid no attention and went off – one to his field, another to his business.  The rest seized his servants, mistreated them and killed them.  The king was enraged.  He sent his army and destroyed those murderers and burned their city.
    “Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding banquet is ready, but those I invited did not deserve to come.  Go to the street corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find.’  So the servants went out into the streets and gathered all the people they could find, both good and bad, and the wedding hall was filled with guests.
   “But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes.  ‘Friend,’ he asked, ‘how did you get in here without wedding clothes?’  The man was speechless.
    “Then the king told the attendants, ‘Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’
    “For many are invited, but few are chosen.”

This parable is not new to me, but I must admit it took me a while to really understand it. I had a hard time getting past the literal and delving into the allegorical.  But one Sunday morning this was being preached at church, and I had my own, “Aha!” moment.  I got it.  I could see how it all fit together, and how it emulated God’s Kingdom.  All good.

Except, unfortunately, for one thing.  If you’ve read my previous posts, then you know that I am a very visual person.  Everything comes to me in pictures, and I relate what I learn to those pictures.  So here I am, sitting in church, “watching” the scene play out.  My mind is going back and forth from the king’s banquet hall to our King’s pearly gates, lining everything up and how they fit together.  Everything. 

But I can’t help getting stuck with the one vision I have at the king’s banquet.  There is a very long table, many people sitting, eating, enjoying themselves at this celebration.  At the very end of the table, in a chair on the right side looking up toward the king (I’m not kidding about how visual I am!), sits a man.  He looks to be in his late thirties to early forties, he has a short, respectable hair cut, a little scruff on his chin, and his clothes, though not dressy, are nicely put together (modern times).  To me he looks like a nice guy who just got carried along with the crowd of people, none of his peers close by.  I don’t know his background, but I can tell he’s done the right thing his entire life.  He’s good.

Then the king notices him and approaches him.  “’Friend,’ he asks, ‘how did you get in here without wedding clothes?’” (v.12)  I watch as the man looks up at the king, embarrassed.  All he was doing was sitting there, quietly eating his meal.  He hadn’t expected to attend a banquet that night, but he was pulled in.  An awkward silence passes between the man and the king, as the story tells us, “The man was speechless.” (v.12)

And then the king gives the orders to have him thrown out.  He doesn’t quietly and politely ask him to leave, he doesn’t offer him a set of wedding clothes from his abundant closets.  He tells his attendants, “’Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’” (v.13)

My heart goes out to that man.  He was quiet, he wasn’t causing a ruckus.  He didn’t sit in a place of honor; in fact, he sat at the lowest place possible.  And yet, because of his clothes, he was singled out and thrown out of the house like a dog who had just ruined Christmas dinner.  I just couldn’t wrap my head around it.

And to top it all off?  Jesus ends his parable with, “For many are invited, but few are chosen.”  Well, what the heck?  What’s the point of inviting him only to embarrass him by having him kicked out in such a harsh manner?  What’s the point of it all?  I don’t understand!  And, really?  He was a good guy!  Jesus said earlier that anyone on the street was to be invited, both good and bad.  This guy didn’t fall into the “bad” category, so why was he singled out?  It’s not right.  It’s not fair.

I got the message, but that part still baffled me.  A couple of nights ago I was reading my Bible, and, of course, one of my readings happened to be Matthew 22.  Back to the parable of the wedding banquet.  Okay.  I was bound and determined to figure it out once and for all (no, I didn’t look deeper into this at that time) what the end of this parable meant.  So I read, finished up verse fourteen which ends the parable, and still didn’t get it.  Great.  The same exact scene played out in my mind with the same outcome, the same, “Huh?”

Finally I decided I had to figure this out, so when my husband walked into the bedroom where I had been reading I talked to him about it - I typically am able to figure things out when I talk to him, whether he leads me to the answer or I figure it out just by talking it out.  I explained my dilemma to him – and of course he laughed at just how visual I was about it – and then he explained to me that he just never accepted Christ.  Plain and simple.  Oops.  Am I the only one who missed that?  Probably.  But there it was.  He never, in all his life, accepted Christ.  The wedding clothes come when you put on Christ, when you are covered with His blood.  I started singing a line from a song we would sing at my old church when adults were being baptized, “You have put on Christ.  In Him you have been baptized.  Alleluia, Alleluia.”

So I finally got it.  Maybe this came up the Sunday it was being preached, but I had missed it.  But I told my husband - since I was still trying to fight for this guy – that maybe no one actually talked to him about it.  Maybe he never knew Christ because no one took the time to tell him.  And there was “Aha!” moment number two.  Or was it three?  Anyway, writing all this out in my notebook I realized that there are going to be many people waiting their turn to get into heaven, but many of them will be turned away because they missed one step.  They never accepted Jesus.  In John 14:6-7a, Jesus says, “I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.  If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well.”

“No one comes to the Father except through me.”  That’s it in a nutshell.  We must accept Christ in order to be accepted into the Kingdom of heaven.  But what if that person didn’t know?  That’s when it came to me.  It’s our job to tell them.  Yes, this is something that Christians are told time and time again, and new Christians are one of the first to want to rush out and save the world, but do we really understand the call?  Some, yes.  Others, maybe not.  Why was my heart hurting so much for that one man who was thrown out of the banquet?  Because I personally need to take that step.  I admit I like to hide behind my writing, and my words do come out much easier when I put them down on paper (or type them on a computer).  The written word is a gift that God has given to me, and I can use it to share His Gospel.  BUT…that doesn’t excuse me from sharing it by word of mouth when I’m out and about.  I can’t use the “I’m shy” excuse.  It may be true (more than I’d care to admit), but it’s not an excuse.  It’s actually selfish.  I can’t say, “They would never listen to me,” “They’ll just roll their eyes and walk away,” or even, “So-and-so would be able to do this much easier.   I’ll just let them save the world.”  Yeah, that’s not what we’re called to do.  We’re not called to shirk our duties as Christians.  We need to immerse ourselves into God’s work.  Regardless of where we’re called.  We are all called to different avenues; we just need to find out where those are, what those are.  We can all make a difference when the day of judgment comes if we all do our part now.

And it doesn’t matter if the person is “good” or “bad.”  A bad person can accept Christ and turn his or her life completely around.  A good person can do so much good, but if they don’t except Jesus as their Lord and Savior, they don’t have a chance.  Being good (like the man in my visualization) doesn’t give you a free ticket into heaven.  Isaiah tells us that “All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags.” (Isaiah 64:6a)  So then how are we to become clean?  By accepting Christ and being “washed in the blood of the Lamb.”

“And he said, ‘These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.  Therefore, they are before the throne of God and serve him day and night in his temple; and he who sits on the throne will spread his tent over them.  Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst.  The sun will not beat upon them, nor any scorching heat.  For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water.  And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.’” (Revelation 7:14-17, emphasis mine)  Doesn’t that sound amazing?  Some of us are already guaranteed this.  Now we need to help others take the step that will also give them this gift of eternal life.

Last night in my small group a question in the book we’re reading asked, “Why does your tomorrow depend on today?”  Well, what would happen if we left everything for another day?  What if we knew where we were supposed to be, and by being there we could bring more people to Him, but instead we find something “more important” to do, or we’re too tired, or we just don’t feel like it.  How are we ever going to win a war just sitting back doing nothing?  We can read the Bible ‘til we’re blue in the face (and we should always be in His word), but we have to put it all into action somehow.

So, how are you going to make a difference?  Will you be able to stand before God and know that you helped even just one person pass through His gates into His Kingdom?  Will God look at you and say, “Well done, good and faithful servant?”  I know I want that.  I want to stand there and watch people entering, not being kicked out.

Lord Jesus, I understand now that it is my responsibility, my duty, as a Christian to help grow your Kingdom.  When I sit idly by I’m doing nothing.  Please help me to remember that I am saved through the blood of the Lamb, and I need to share that gift with others.  Lord Jesus, thank You.

I was standing in church this morning, singing and praising God as we do during the first part of service, and one of the songs really touched me.  “Oh, Your cross, it changes everything.  There my life begins again with You.  Oh, Your cross, it’s where my hope restarts.  A second chance is Heaven’s heart.”  Another part of that song reads, “Countless second chances we’ve been given at the cross.”  Such beautiful lyrics.  It brought my mind back to where I was, and the “countless chances” I've been given.  It’s His cross where my life changed; changed for the better.  He gave me this hope.  Nothing I do should be without Him.  Then the next song began, and as I was singing along I found myself praying during the breaks.  I don’t even remember what song it was now, but what I prayed was that God forgave me for being distant these past few weeks, and then I told Him that He alone deserves glory, that He deserves all praise, and that He alone is good.  I told Him that I didn’t want to do anything unless it glorified Him.  I told Him that I knew I shouldn’t seek glory and praise for myself, but for Him.  In everything I do it should be to praise God, and to teach about Him.  In everything I do I want people to see God.

A Scripture verse I’ve come to love this week is Psalm 73:26.  It reads, “My heart and flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”  He is the one who gives me strength.  He is the one who gives me all that I have, and without Him I have nothing.  All that I do, all that I seek to do, should honor and glorify Him.  He’s the one who deserves the praise for what I do, not me.

Recently I had been offered a volunteer position for a website.  It’s a “traveling with kids” website where people write reviews of different places they’ve been to, to help other parents decide whether or not they want to take their kids.  It’s a great resource, and I was asked to head up assignments in New York State.  At first I was afraid because of my fear of phones and communication,  but I decided to push through and really give it some thought and prayer.  I didn’t want to brush it off so quickly.  Unfortunately, though, I felt like I was pushing God away, though I prayed for a decision.  What I realized right before I emailed the one in charge of this with a “no” was that what had kept me from saying no until that point was the fact that I would have loved to see my name and picture up with the rest of volunteers who do this same thing in other states.  That was my big draw.  Sure, it might be fun, and it would be a big help to the site, but I wanted to see my name up there.  I wanted to be recognized.  When I received an email detailing what was involved, I knew it was just too much for me to handle with everything else in my life right now.  I had to look at my priorities and there was no place for this.  I told my husband that it was pride that had been keeping me from saying no as he had watched me struggle with a decision.

I used to sing with my church when I was a teenager up through my early twenties.  I love to sing, and this was one of my favorite things to do.  But as the years passed I realized that I wasn’t singing to glorify God, but myself.  I reveled in people coming up to me and thanking me for a solo I sang, telling me how beautiful my voice was.  Oh how great that felt.  I would get upset with myself if I didn’t do a great job with this song or that, and I would wait to see if anyone would praise me the Sunday mornings I felt I did superb job.  As I entered into my later twenties my husband and I ended up at a different church, but I would skip a Sunday here and there to head back to my old church whenever my dad asked if I wanted to sing with him – he would cantor certain Sundays, and I loved to sing with him, but again I was looking for praise since we always chose such wonderful duets to sing together.  It was all about me.

I still find myself at times looking for praise for myself, which is why this morning was so perfect.  I was reminded that I have to focus on giving Him glory.  I want to write to teach about God, to bring people to Him.  When I sing, I want it to be giving praise to Him and only Him.  This is true with anything I do in my life.  I just need to remember this.

2 Corinthians 4:5-6 says this:  “For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants of Jesus’ sake.  For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.”  It’s not for ourselves, but for Him.  We need to be humble servants, seeking praise and glory only for Him.  This is what we are called to do.  This is what He gives us when we come to Him.  When we humble ourselves and allow Him to guide our actions everything will be where it should.

In Psalm 34, verses 1-3 David writes, “I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips.  My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.  Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together.”  Interestingly enough this was one of the psalms I used to sing at church.  The answer was right in front of me the whole time, but I never saw it.  I love what David says in verse five, just two verses later.  He says, “Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.”  When we seek to glorify God and not ourselves, His light makes us radiant.  When people see us ,God shines through.  Because we make Him the focus, give Him all credit, we will never be shamed.  Oh how good that feels!  I’m giddy just thinking about that.

So, let’s not seek praise for ourselves, but for Him, and Him alone.  Let us seek out His glory.  Let us be humble servants, never taking praise for ourselves.

Lord God, thank you for showing me that all praise, glory and honor goes to You, and when I give it to You, You will make me shine with Your light; my face will never be covered in shame.

What is wrong with this world?  Why do these tragedies have to continue?  Why do we have to put up with it?  And, Jesus, WHY do these people have to remain on the face of the earth?

Life on the earth, I feel, would be far easier if all the evil were gone.  Nothing remaining.  Just happy go lucky people, serving and praising God.  There would be no senseless killings, no kidnapping, no hurting.  We would no longer be scared.  We could sit back, relax, and enjoy the life we have here on this earth until we are called up to heaven.  And everyone would be called up there if there was no evil driving people to turn from God.

After the tragedy in Connecticut at Sandy Hook Elementary I was devastated.  That day I had just been in my son’s Kindergarten class as I volunteer there every Friday.  I also volunteer every Friday for what’s known as Caring Kids Club, where two kids from each class are picked each week to participate because they have been caught being “caring kids.”  These are Kindergartners and first graders.  I heard the news and my mind immediately went to the school I was at not all that long ago.  Devastating.

And then it was time for their funerals.  Heart wrenching, but what made it worse was the fact that Westboro Baptist Church was protesting their funerals.  These were people who had done nothing worth protesting.  They were attending school, they were teaching, they were trying their best to protect the lives of the little ones.  Why would these people come all the way to Connecticut to protest?  There was even talk about them coming to my home turf to protest funerals of firemen who were taken down by a sniper during a house fire that said sniper had purposely caused to draw them out.  I call this group a hate group.  There is no love.  They are working for the wrong side, and I don’t think they even realize it.  They have been blinded.  They have forgotten what they’re protesting.

It was because of the protest of the funerals in Connecticut that made me cry out to God and ask “Why?”  WHY are there people like this in the world?  Why do people have to hate?  Why do people have to kill?  Why can’t they just go away?  God has the power over life and death.  Why can’t He just get rid of them all?

And then I opened up my Bible.  That night’s reading was Matthew 13, and in that reading was the Parable of the Weeds, verses 24-30.  God spelled out the answer right then and there.  This parable is about a man sowing good seed in his field, “but while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat” (v.25).  So, in this field, that was originally planned for good crops, both good and bad grew.  Good and evil.

vv.27-28: “The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field?  Where then did the weeds come from?”

“’And enemy did this,’ he replied.

“The servants asked him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’”

See?  Even they wanted to get rid of what was bad.  Why can’t we just pull them up?  It doesn’t make sense to let them stay here.  Or does it?

V.29:  “’No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them.’”

Oh.  So, let me get this right.  If we purge this world of all the “bad people” some of the good may be caught up in it?  Hmm…so because of this whole Salvation thing, there’s still a chance for those who are doing wrong to turn before their time comes?  It’s true that Satan has his workers.  There’s no two ways about that.  “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire.  He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding the truth, for there is no truth in him.  When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44).

But he also tries to get others to go along with his plans, those who have been called by God but have yet to answer.  “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners” (Mark 2:17).  And weren’t we all there at one point?  We were all sinners until we asked for forgiveness and asked Jesus into our hearts.  And for those who have not done this yet, God has made time for it to happen.  People would completely miss their opportunity to change if the world was “cleansed” prematurely.  Okay.  So, basically, God is telling us that we need to recognize that, yes, there is evil in this world (we should never turn a blind eye to it), and that we need to continue to do as we have been taught.  We need to pray for the lost, and we need to witness.    

If we stayed in our homes, locked away with our families in a hidden closet, frightened of what is out there, praying that God just takes away the evil so we could come back out, we would be ignoring our part in this life.

The finale?

v.30: “’Let both grow together until the harvest.  At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’”

God is our judge.  As promised He will separate the good from the evil when the time finally comes to do so, and because He is perfect He will not make mistakes.  At that time, those who have accepted His son, thereby accepting Him, will go on to life everlasting.  Those who do the work of the devil until the last day will descend to be with him.

But for now, we need to do the Lord’s work.  He loves it each time a lost sheep is found, every time a prodigal son returns.

Dear heavenly Father, help us not to get caught up with the evils of the world.  Help us to remember that we were once lost, and by Your grace we have been found.  Help us to be a reflection of you.